Talking in His Sleep
by KawaiiChica
Summary: Inuyasha's talking in his sleep, and its killing Kagome to hear him calling out to Kikyo. When a crucial moment is ruined by the hanyou, will Kagome be able to forgive him? To make matters worse, he doesn't know what he's done! [Complete]
1. Mumblings

Title: Talking in His Sleep

Author: KawaiiChica

E-mail: R - Adult content & swearing.

Disclaimer: Inuyasha and Co. don't belong to me, I'm just borrowing them for the sake of this fanfic. They belong to Rumiko Takahashi and others.

(- Thinking -)

" " Speaking

* * *

"No... it wasn't me..."

Kagome sighed, lying on her side in her sleeping bag. Listening to the sounds of her friends sleeping around her, she was disturbed the most by the mumbling coming from behind her.

Inuyasha leaned against the trunk of a tree a few feet away, since its limbs hadn't been strong enough to hold him; he'd simply sat at the base and fallen asleep. He must have been really tired for him to doze off so quickly

Kagome heard him speaking again and swallowed past the lump that swelled in her throat.

"Why Kikyo? ... I thought..."

Kikyo... even in your dreams she won't leave you alone, will she?

Finally feeling her own exhaustion begin to take over, Kagome was relieved as she fell asleep, not wanting to hear him call out that name anymore.

"Feh, get up already!"

Kagome woke to something poking her in the side and looked up to see Inuyasha's foot was pushing her out of her sleeping bag. "I'm awake."

He huffed, "That doesn't mean you're up! We have a long distance to go and can't wait around for lazy-ass..."

"SIT!"

Kagome rolled out of his way just in time as he slammed to the ground. Standing and adjusting her clothes, she ignored the cursing hanyou and headed over to the others who were busy finishing breakfast. "Why didn't anyone wake me sooner?"

"We tried Kagome-sama, you were too tired though," Miroku handed her some ramen while Sango went over to help her pick up her stuff so they could leave.

"Inuyasha's restless, as are Sango and I; there is something ominous in this forest." The monk crossed his arms and watched her eat quickly, nodding her head in agreement.

"I had trouble sleeping last night because of it," she stuffed another bite into her mouth and tried to focus her ki on sensing their surrounding the way Kaede had taught her the last time they'd been in her village. It had been a week earlier and Kagome took every opportunity she could get to practice.

"Done yet?" Inuyasha came over, tapping his foot impatiently while she took her last bite. "Ok then let's go."

The group grabbed their things and set off, hoping to make it to their destination by nightfall. To everyone's relief, Shippo, who was going through a growth spurt, calmly slept through the day in Kagome's arms, allowing the group to travel in peaceful silence.

Inuyasha glanced back again, frowning at the silent miko who seemed to have something on her mind. Kagome had been too quiet that morning, lugging around both her bag and Shippo, and to make him more suspicious, she'd been submissive all morning. Beside the small argument when he awakened her, she hadn't complained or quarreled with him all day, and it was making him nervous.

Deciding to get back to their normal routine, Inuyasha stopped and waited for them to reach him. "Hand it over."

"What?" Kagome frowned, wondering what he wanted.

"Your bag! Stupid bitch, can't you see it's slowing you down? You're the last one in the group and the most vulnerable, if we get attacked they'll kill you for sure." Inuyasha grabbed the bag, pulled it from the arm she'd thrown it over and went back to his place at the front.

"Jerk," Kagome mumbled, glaring daggers at his back.

"Stupid," Inuyasha called back over his shoulder.

"Asshole!"

"Wench!"

"Creep!"

"Idiot!"

"DOG!"

Inuyasha's anger flared, whirling around to yell the first thing that came to mind.

"**BITCH**!"

Kagome was about to shout back when she felt a familiar tug and froze, quickly trying to figure out where it was coming from. Noticing her change in attitude, Inuyasha leapt over to them and dropped the bag at her feet, unsheathing Tetsusaiga in front of him.

"Where is it?" Inuyasha asked, not needing her answer when a large spider youkai appeared before them. Charging at it with his sword, Inuyasha growled as it swerved and dodged his attack, heading towards the girl with the shards.

Miroku was about to remove his beads from his hand when the youkai spit out a ball of webbing and it fell around his wrist, the stickiness making it impossible for him to use his Zanzaa. Sango was equally unlucky, preparing to throw her Hiraikotsu, a spitball of webbing making it stick to her hand, throwing her off-balance and making her fall to the ground.

"Kagome run!" Inuyasha growled, attempting to slash the youkai again with his sword.

Doing as told, Kagome ran, clutching Shippo to her when he woke up from the noise and asking what was wrong. His response was an urgent 'shush' from Kagome and her arms tightening around him. She was running through the forest, looking for somewhere to hide when she found it, a small opening at the base of a large tree. Half-hidden by bushes, Shippo told her he couldn't smell anything that might live there and before he could much more, Kagome was pushing him in, ordering him not to move from there until she returned. With a quick kiss to his forehead, she smiled and stood, turning to keep running.

At least he should be safer there than with me

Inuyasha growled, glaring at the spider angrily while his arm bled from a slash of the youkai's leg had ripped through his skin. He could hear Sango's gasping for breath beneath his haori that he'd thrown over her after the damned demon had injured her back. Miroku kneeled beside her, furiously trying to rip through the webbing on his hand to help her better.

Where the fuck is Kagome? She'd better be safe

He'd regretted telling her to run after watching her take off with another youkai following. It seemed that the one he was fighting with had not come alone, and now Kagome was in the forest somewhere, hopefully hidden so they wouldn't find her.

"My quarrel is not with you, hanyou, I want those jewels," the spider stood a few feet away, "If I cannot get them, my mate will, that girl's as good as dead."

"Fuck you!" Inuyasha used the windscar to kill him at last. Hurrying into the forest, he quickly focused on Kagome's scent, growling at the one following hers.

"Damnit!" Kagome cursed, panting as she stared at the tall cliff above. She'd run as fast as her legs could carry her to a dead end. Hopefully I won't be dead

Biting her lip nervously, she heard a noise to her right and barely managed to jump out of the way before a ball of webbing flew past her to the place she'd been standing in. "HEY!"

Kagome jumped this way and that, avoiding the first few shots before an angry clicking sounded and she looked up to see a black and red spider youkai above her head on the cliff wall. Letting out a scream, Kagome was thrown backwards when the demon lunged at her, knocking her onto her back and sinking her teeth into her neck.

Lying there with her neck burning, her body quickly numbing over, Kagome struggled to keep awake, barely noticing when the legs holding her down released her and her body was lifted. White and gold came into view and a voice could be heard, but her mind was too fuzzy to make anything out before darkness consumed her.

"Damnit woman don't you dare die on me," Inuyasha glared at the dead spider at his feet again, snatching the chain with shards that she had just taken from Kagome's neck and turning to run to a nearby stream as fast as he could.

As soon as he arrived, he set Kagome down and set himself to the task of removing the poison from her body. Cutting her skin around the puncture marks in her neck a little; Inuyasha bent his head and started sucking the poisoned blood, hoping he could get most of it out. It hasn't been that long, it can't be in all of your system yet... hang on Kagome!

Ripping the lower part of her shirt off, he quickly soaked a strip and used it to wipe her blood once he was done, making the rest into bandages to wrap around her wound. Once she was tended to, he sighed and wondered what else he could do.

Seeing a bright light coming from his side, he lifted his eyes from Kagome's face and was about to growl but stopped himself when he saw who was there.

"Silly chit, thinking she could take care of the jewel shards," Kikyo came to her side, her dull orbs focused on the girl in front of him.

"What are you doing here?" Inuyasha watched her wearily.

Kikyo's eyes lifted to his, "Isn't it obvious? I'm going to save her."

Inuyasha arched an eyebrow, "Is that right? And why would you do that? If she dies you'll be whole again, alive."

Kikyo's lifeless eyes held his as she nodded, "But then I wouldn't be able to take you to hell with me, and that is what I want."

"Hmph," Inuyasha turned back to the girl in front of him, "All right then, heal her already."

"Ever the impatient one Inuyasha," Kikyo kneeled beside him, touched Kagome's bite marks and a pink light engulfed both mikos' as energy was passed from one to another.

Feeling herself drained, Kikyo lay down beside her, calling to her soul-catchers to come and bring her the energy she needed. They came quickly to her urgent bidding, little white auras glowing in their grasp as they floated over and dropped them onto their mistress.

"Kikyo..." Inuyasha was stopped by a shake of her head, her body being lifted by the soul-catchers. "She can help you get the jewel and end your quest, but remember your promise Inuyasha, you are mine."

Kagome blinked slowly, a bright light from just above her head causing her to look up slowly, barely able to move her head because of the pain in her neck. The sight that greeted her forcing her to close her eyes again, seeing it in her mind as well.

Kikyo had moved to Inuyasha, kneeling so her legs straddled his, her arms around his neck pulling him in for a kiss. Inuyasha didn't move, either to pull away or to join her and so she moved in towards him instead, her cold lips pressing to his briefly before pulling back and allowing her soul-catchers to take her away completely.

"Kikyo..."

Inuyasha's pained whisper reached Kagome's ears, forcing her to bite her lip from crying out her own pain. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't realize she was awake until their friends came upon them with Shippo in tow.

"Here you are!" Sango came over and quickly asked what had happened. "Kagome-chan what happened to you?"

"I was bitten by a spider," Kagome's reply was scratchy, her throat tight from suppressing her emotions. "That's the last thing I knew until you called my name right now."

Seeing her teary eyes, Inuyasha wondered about that for a second, unsure if she'd heard him with Kikyo a few minutes earlier. Looking down to see her smile at him, he felt his doubts wear away, Kagome would never smile at him after seeing him with Kikyo, especially if she'd seen them kiss.

"Perhaps we should get some rest here? This seems like a good place to set up for the night, and allow Kagome-sama to recover," Miroku sent Shippo and Kirara to fetch some firewood.

Sango set up Kagome's sleeping bag so her friend could sleep more comfortably and then started setting up everyone else's beds while the monk began pulling out ramens and the things they would need from Kagome's bag, which he'd picked up when they'd finally managed to cut off the last of the webbing with Sango's small knife. Kagome watched Inuyasha's profile in the bright moonlight, wondering what he could be thinking.

Is he still in love with her, after everything she's done? Hurt crossed her features as she looked away towards the river, wincing at the pull in her throat. I wish someone would love me like that, unconditionally - well no, I don't wish that just **anyone **would love me like that, but **he's **too dense to realize my feelings for him

Looking at the hanyou again from the corner of her eye, her heart ached at the thought of saying good-bye and watching him be taken to hell. Damnit Kikyo's dead Inuyasha! Why can't you accept the fact, admit it wasn't your fault, that you don't owe her anything and love me!

"Come on wench, time to get you into the bag," Inuyasha picked her up gruffly, still unsettled because of his visit from Kikyo and set her in the bag. Before she could protest he removed the bandages from her neck and looked the wound over. To his surprise, it was completely gone; the miko's magic seemed to have healed it completely.

"Feh, go to sleep," Inuyasha growled, grabbing his ramen from Miroku and swallowing it down in one gulp while he settled against a tree nearby.

"Kagome-sama your soup is ready," Miroku ignored the glowering hanyou and set the cup down beside her.

"Thank you Miroku, I'm just not hungry though," Kagome took the cup and held it towards the hanyou. "Take it or leave it."

The cup was snatched from her hands before she finished speaking, though, and she gave a tired sigh before closing her eyes and falling asleep. Miroku and the others settled in for bed also, Shippo sleeping with Sango on the other side of the fire, the monk sleeping with Kirara curled up against his back, and Inuyasha resting a few feet from Kagome.

It was a cold night and Kagome woke when her teeth began chattering. Blinking sleepily to see her friends, she smiled as she saw Miroku and Kirara had moved to a spot where they could protect Sango and Shippo from the cold wind, using their bodies to block it. Shivering, Kagome turned and curled up into herself, willing herself to sleep again when she heard the mumbling again.

Looking up at Inuyasha again, she strained to hear the mumbling through the wind blowing through their camp.

"... it wasn't me... don't do it... Kikyo... watch out...Kikyo..."

When his eyes snapped open suddenly, Kagome closed hers hiding them with her sleeping bag so he wouldn't see she'd been awake and listening. Struggling to keep her trembling from being noticed, Kagome let out a small gasp when the wind stopped hitting her, Inuyasha's body curled around her to keep her warm.

"In-Inuyasha?" her voice was a breathy whisper, surprise evident in her tone.

"Go to sleep bitch, you're of no use to me if you're sick." Inuyasha glared down at her, seeing a slight shimmer in her eyes as she nodded and curled up next to him, one of her cold little hands slipping from the sleeping back to hold lightly to his haori.

Damnit Kagome, why can't I get her out of my head already? Inuyasha hated being so gruff with the girl in his arms, but as long as he kept her away, he'd do it. There was no sense in falling in love with someone when you were leaving them at one time or another, and he **was** going to hell with Kikyo after all.

Damned the fates! For the first time I find someone who accepts me, trusts me, believes in me, and I have to keep her away. Inuyasha cursed his luck again, holding her tighter to console himself by enjoying one of the precious few moments he would have with her.

Kagome lay in his arms, also consoling herself with the feel of his arms holding her close, his mumbled words haunting her sleep. Kami, why did I have to wake up? Why am _I _the one who hears his explanations instead of her? I don't want to hear him anymore... I can't stand it.

_

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**.K.C. **


	2. Whispers

Title: Talking in His Sleep

Author: KawaiiChica

E-mail:

Rating: R - Adult content & swearing.

Disclaimer: Inuyasha and Co. don't belong to me, I'm just borrowing them for the sake of this fanfic. They belong to Rumiko Takahashi and other people who have money and legal terms saying they're theirs.

_**- Warning -**_

This fic contains 'Lemon' content, meaning some pretty explicit sexual scenes. I know 's policy against the stuff, but the story wouldn't be as dramatic without it. There will NOT be an excess of these scenes, due to the fact that I am NOT usually given to write lemons and won't make this into anything too dirty, but the one scene which I've included sets up the main conflict of this fic.

If you are seriously offended by the material please let me know and I will try to change it to a lesser 'citrus' level, but I truly don't believe I've gone too far out of bounds. I have read many worse chapters than this in other stories, but never the less, will change mine if need be.

Thank you for reading this warning - now go on and read the fic!

(- Thinking -)

" " Speaking

* * *

_Boom-Boom_

Shippo squealed, clapping happily as the sparkling dust fell from the sky. Sango and Miroku watched quietly, relieved to have a break from the tension between Kagome and Inuyasha since the past few days. They had been traveling towards the small village they were now in when the cause of the tension showed up. Of course, she didn't really show up, she just sent one of her soul-catchers to fetch him, and of course, Inuyasha had followed.

Kagome just turned away, ignoring his order to wait for him there and kept walking towards the village. "He can catch up with us when he's ready," she'd sounded normal as ever, no signs of anger or hurt in her voice, but her slumped shoulders gave her away.

"Kagome-chan..." Sango tried to cheer her up.

"It's ok, he has to keep his promise to her," Kagome looked over her shoulder with a smile, "He'll be ok."

"Are you sure?" Miroku followed, mentally cursing the thoughtless hanyou who couldn't seem to stop hurting the poor girl.

Kagome nodded and turned to watch where she was going, "Hai."

That had been two days before, and Inuyasha had just joined them a few hours earlier. Kagome had acted like nothing was wrong when he didn't come back the first night, and greeted him with a smile when he finally appeared, disgruntled and tired. Since the town was celebrating its biggest festival and they were invited to stay, they'd readily agreed and had been offered a couple of rooms to stay in.

After playing with the town's children, having a bit of dinner, and watching a few dances, Kagome excused herself, claiming a headache and heading inside. Miroku and Sango shared a look and shook their heads sadly, neither one of them believing her excuse. Wondering suddenly where the cause of Kagome's headache might be, they were surprised when Shippo told them he'd been drinking with some of the townsmen on the other side of the festival.

"That could mean trouble," Sango bit her lip.

"He deserves a good hangover," Miroku frowned and quickly changed the subject, hoping to keep at least THEIR spirits up.

In her room, Kagome sighed, leaning against the side of the bathtub. The water was cold, since she hadn't bothered to warm it and hadn't wanted to bother anyone else. It wasn't a problem however, she was just rinsing herself off quickly before hopping into bed. Ignoring the sounds of partying outside, Kagome stood and stepped out of the tub, water splashing around her a bit while she grabbed her towel and began to dry herself, humming a song from her time to try and relax. 

Putting on a sleeping yukata Sango had lent her, she blew out the candle she'd been using and was about to slip into her futon when the shoji slid open. Turning to see who it was, she was surprised to see Inuyasha slide it closed behind him. Dragging his feet slowly, he was mumbling something incoherent and suddenly fell to his knees next to her futon.

"I-Inuyasha? Are you ok? Is anything the matter?"

Blinking his sleep-filled eyes, Inuyasha looked down at the girl in front of him and blinked again in shock. There she was, the bitch who'd been plaguing his dreams for the past few months, haunting him, she was finally there. Not wanting to ruin the night with words, he lifted a finger to her lips and silenced her.

What is he thinking? Kagome watched, fascinated as he threw off his haori and gi and moved toward her. Before she could get a word out again, his lips covered hers in a hungry kiss. Gasping in surprise, Kagome closed her eyes happily, cupping his face in her hands to make sure it was real, opening to let him explore her mouth as much as he wanted. Inuyasha's kissing me... my first kiss!

After the long, searching kiss was over, she lay panting, opening her mouth to speak again and instead letting out a squeak when she felt him licking down her neck. Feeling her body heat and begin to tremble, Kagome tried to speak again and was cut off by his lips one more time. What are you doing?

**(Chapter edited due to adult content - for full chapter, please refer to Mediaminer)**

Feeling her strength drain from her body, Kagome slid onto her stomach, gasping for air from their strenuous activity, a beaming smile on her face. Inuyasha lay on top of her, seemingly just as exhausted and sated as she was, his panting breaths tickling her shoulder for a moment before he licked it and pulled back, sliding out of her smoothly and laying on his side, pulling her back against him, his arm sliding around her and holding her close.

"Aishiteru," Kagome whispered with a smile, snuggling her back into his chest.

A low purr was his only reply, his chest moving in a heavy sigh as he drifted off to sleep. Feeling the tension in his body easing away, Kagome closed her eyes, ready to fall asleep as well. Just as she was on the verge of complete unconsciousness, his arm tugging her closer jarred her enough for her to hear him whispering in his sleep.

"Kikyo..."

* * *

Sorry about the edit you guys, I've already had two stories deleted from FF. I didn't want to risk this one too. 


	3. Cries

[ ] Thinking 

" " Speaking 

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Last Chapter: 

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"Aishiteru," Kagome whispered with a smile, snuggling her back into his chest. 

A low purr was his only reply, his chest moving in a heavy sigh as he drifted off to sleep. Feeling the tension in his body easing away, Kagome closed her eyes, ready to fall asleep as well. Just as she was on the verge of complete unconsciousness, his arm tugging her closer jarred her enough for her to hear him whispering in his sleep. 

"Kikyo..." 

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"No" 

The strangled whisper escaped Kagome's lips as she lay stiffly in his arms. [He didn't just say that! Kami please!] A stab of pain ran through Kagome's body, tears welling in her horrified eyes. 

[It wasn't me he was talking to, it wasn't me he…] 

Feeling a wave of nausea overwhelm her, Kagome pulled away carefully, not wanting to wake him and have to deal with what had just happened. Slipping off the futon she struggled to hold back her tears at the evidence of what they'd just shared. Grabbing the pieces of the ripped yukata, she used them to clean herself and him carefully and quickly got dressed. 

Ignoring the pain in her legs, she slipped on her shoes and hurried outside, the only thought in her mind to get away from Inuyasha as soon as possible. She made it to the front of the inn before the pain overwhelmed her, sending her to her knees on the ground as sobs wracked her small form. 

[Why? Why aren't I good enough? Why can't he ever see me as myself and not as Kikyo's reincarnation? How could he do this to me?] Violent, gut-wrenching sobs ran through her, tears sliding down her cheeks continuously as she was overwhelmed by pain. A soft touch on her waist made her turn and smile in relief. 

"Kirara, where've you been?" 

[Perfect timing!] Picking up the small youkai, Kagome looked her in the eyes and explained. "I need to get back to the well Kirara, I don't have time to waste, could you take me there?" 

The fire cat purred and jumped from her hands, transforming into her larger form. Ignoring the calls from her friends as they approached, Kagome climbed onto her back and ordered her to fly. "Get me there as fast as you can Kirara… please!" 

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It had taken them four hours to arrive, but finally, Kagome could see the God tree and allowed herself to relax a bit. During the ride she'd concentrated on holding onto Kirara's back and ignoring the pain in her heart but now that they trip was about to end, her mind concentrated once again on Inuyasha's betrayal. 

Just as they were about to reach the tree, Kirara made a sudden jump to her left, knocking an unsuspecting Kagome off her back in the process. With a hard thud, Kagome landed on her back on the forest floor, struggling to regain the breath that had been knocked out of her. [What happened?] 

Shouting nearby and the sound of feet coming closer made her look up to her right, surprised to find a large group of youkai hunters coming out of the forest around her. There were about twelve of them all together, half of which were still concentrating on Kirara while the other half came towards her to see what had fallen off the youkai's back. 

"Isn't that a girl?" one of them asked. 

Another gave a whistle and grinned, standing above her now with a sly grin, "It sure is, and what a girl!" 

Kagome winced, his tone of voice and hungry eyes roaming over her. Had her legs not been so sore she could have kicked them down, but from the activities of earlier that night and the fall from Kirara's back, she could hardly move. 

Unfortunately, her voice was also weak due to her lack of breath, her threat sounding more like a plea. "Get away from me." 

The man above her laughed and stepped over her with one foot so his legs straddled her, "Now why would I want to do that? Our women are four days travel from here and we've been awfully lonely." 

Kagome's heart sped up, her body unwilling to obey her mental commands as she felt him drop down onto his knees above her and grab her hands that had been crossed above her chest. "Shinji come hold these while I get my turn, I'll do the same for you." 

The other man who'd spoken came and readily agreed, pulling her arms up above her heard. Another joined them, grabbing her legs and holding them down. "Hurry up we all want a go at her." 

"NO!" Kagome's panicked cries rang through the forest, her terrified screams getting louder while she struggled to pull away. Tears coursed down her cheeks as round hands ripped away her clothes for a second time that night. Through the panic that ran through her she felt a familiar wetness near her leg and screamed again, only to be surprised when he pulled away suddenly allowing the night's cool air to hit her naked body. 

The hands on her arms and legs released her soon after and she curled up on her side instinctively, ignoring the screams of pain and howling around her as her sobs took control of her body. Her trembling seemed unending as pain and fear coursed through her, her mind calling out for help. 

A soft voice near her kept mumbling something, then began whimpering softly beside her, a pair of soft hands touching her hair in soothing strokes. As the panic began to subside and her sobbing slowed, a familiar voice broke through the haze in her mind and surprised her. 

"I'm so sorry Kagome" 

[Inuyasha?] The idea of his apologizing made her turn hopeful eyes behind her, only to widen in surprise. Inuyasha hadn't saved her - the man kneeling beside her didn't wear red clothes or have silver hair. His hair was jet black and held back in a ponytail, and his piercing blue eyes were a softer shade than she'd ever seen before as regret shone in them as well as a plea for forgiveness. 

"K-Kouga?" Kagome's scratchy voice whispered. 

"Kagome I'm so sorry, I couldn't get here in time," his eyes filled with tears as his hands softly touched her face. "I couldn't save you." 

He moved slowly, stretching out beside her on the grass before stretching his arms out towards her shivering body. He kept apologizing, even as the tears he'd been struggling to hold back slipped from his eyes. 

Feeling the cold air hitting her body, Kagome shivered and touched his hand, silently asking him to come closer to her. As he slid his arms around her and kissed her forehead sweetly, Kagome felt the true love radiating off of him and felt her heart break once again remembering the loving embrace she'd shared earlier. Overwhelmed by everything that had happened so quickly, she let out a small cry and buried herself in his arms, tears and sobs once again taking over her small frame as she cried herself out and eventually fell into an exhausted sleep. 

Kouga held her tightly and rocked her body slowly as her pain overwhelmed him also. Her aura radiated nothing but pain and suffering, her body trembled in his uncontrollably, causing him to keep tightening his hold until she finally cried herself to sleep. Guilt was flooding over him at her pain, her loss, he could smell the difference in her and knowing she'd been touched by such filthy hands made his skin crawl and a weight set itself over his heart. 

Beside the guilt that crushed him down, anger and hate also consumed him as he cursed the stupid Inu youkai that had not been there with her. [Where the hell is that fucking dog? Why wasn't he protecting her as he should have been?! I allowed her to travel with him because he was supposed to be watching over her and keeping her safe!... wait 'till I get my hands on him… that baka's dead!] 

A soft moan from the girl in his arms snapped him out of his murderous plans and he looked down, surprised to feel her shiver. [Duh, baka! Her clothes were torn off, of course she's got to be cold.] 

Slipping away from her for a moment, he removed one of his animal skins and covered her as much as he could. Lifting her into his arms, he turned and was about to head towards one of his caverns when the youkai that had been with Kagome appeared. 

"Go back and tell that baka Kagome is mine and won't be going back on their stupid quest anymore. And do not tell them what has happened." 

Kirara growled, but looking at the unconscious girl in his arms, a wave of sympathy for her made her turn and quickly head back towards the others. 

Kouga watched her leave before looking down at the girl in his arms. Her cheeks were tear-streaked and puffy, but she was still beautiful in his eyes. "I'm so sorry Kagome." 

Holding her tight, he quickly headed away towards one of the small caves in the nearby mountains where he knew he wouldn't be bothered. [She's going to need some time to get over this and I do not want that baka hanyou anywhere near us.] 

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"Inuyasha have you seen Kagome-chan? I can't find her anywhere!" Sango's voice woke him early the next morning. 

"So Kagome's gone…" Inuyasha grumbled and buried his face back into the pillow before the thought actually processed. "WHAT?! What do you mean you can't find her?!" 

The hanyou jumped and headed towards the door, suddenly realizing his state of undress. 

"What the fuck?" 

Heading back and getting into his clothes quickly, he could smell her scent in the room, although it had diminished quite a bit. Seeing her bag in a corner though, he figured she'd bathed and then re-joined the others for the festivities. [When did I come in here? Was it…] 

Looking over at the bed, he frowned, wondering what had happened. [I had that dream and then one about Kikyo] He sighed, willing his body to forget the bliss he'd felt as he'd made love to Kagome in his dream. Stupid Kikyo even ruined things in his sleep, showing up moments after he'd been with the other girl. 

Throwing open the shoji, he glared at the worried girl and walked past her out to where Miroku and Shippo stood watching the forest for any signs of her. "She might have gone for an early walk; she likes to do that sometimes." 

"Its too early, even for her," Inuyasha sighed, "Besides, her scent dies here." [Including the tears] He frowned even harder at that thought, the scent of her salty tears still lingering on the wood beneath them. 

Just as they were about to decide what to do, Kirara flew over and dropped at their feet. Giving a tired sigh, the fire cat went back to its smaller form and dropped to the ground. Inuyasha was on her immediately, lifting her up by the hair on her neck and dangling her in front of him. 

"Where'd you take Kagome?" 

"How do you know Kirara had anything to do with it? She hasn't been with us for the past week!" Sango angrily defended her kitten. 

"She smells like her," Shippo explained, jumping from Miroku's shoulder to Inuyasha's. 

"Where'd Kagome go? Why didn't she tell us anything?" 

Kirara mewled and explained to the young kitsune, part of what had happened, omitting the attack in the forest as Kouga had ordered her to. After she'd finished, Shippo glared at Inuyasha and jumped back to Miroku, ordering for him to let go of Kirara. 

"What'd she say? I can't understand her," Inuyasha growled, knowing Kirara had spoken another cat dialect to keep him from understanding. 

"What did you do to Kagome?!" Shippo yelled back, still glaring at Inuyasha, who dropped Kirara into Sango's hands. 

"I don't know what you're talking about! I had a few drinks and went to bed, I didn't even see her last night!" Inuyasha growled, crossing his arms angrily. 

"Kirara said she found Kagome crying on her knees here last night and that Kagome asked her to take her back to the well. We all know she only goes back to her time when you do something to upset her!" Shippo crossed his arms also. 

"Feh, I told you I didn't see her last night, I didn't make her cry." Inuyasha tapped his foot impatiently. "What else did she say? Where is Kagome?" 

Shippo lost his confidence, shrinking back from the explosion he knew was to come. 

"She's with Kouga." 

"WHAT?!" Inuyasha glared at the cat again. "You let that mangy wolf take her?" 

"Kirara had no choice, apparently Kagome wasn't feeling well and she passed out, Kouga appeared and took her from Kirara, telling her to tell you that Kagome was his and wouldn't be joining us in the quest anymore." Shippo's eyes watered at the thought of Kagome leaving them for the wolf. 

"This has got to be joke!" Inuyasha growled and walked away, calling over his shoulder. 

"Get back to Kaede's village, I'm going to find Kagome and bring her back there." 

"Inuyasha what could have made Kagome want to go home so suddenly if you two didn't argue?" Miroku asked, deeply troubled by the miko's strange behavior. 

"I don't know, just do as I said already, I'll get her from that wolf and she can explain to all of us back at Kaede's." The hanyou wasted no more time, running off at break-neck speed toward the wolf's den. 

[He'd better not try anything with her or I swear he'll regret it.] 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To Kouga's relief, Kagome didn't waken while he set her down and covered her with furs. While he went about the cave, lighting a couple of fires and torches to tidy it up, he kept glancing at the girl in the straw nest, relieved she was getting some sleep. [She must have been up all night for some reason. But why would she be out in the forest without that baka? His scent wasn't anywhere nearby.] 

He thanked the Kamis for his urge to take a run in the middle of the night, shuddering to think of what might have happened had he not heard her terrified cries. The panic and terror expressed in her voice had been enough to chill his bones for a moment before he ran in to save her. But still, the change was there, hardly noticeable if you weren't looking but there. 

[She was raped… by those stupid humans! They took her innocence!] His hands closed tightly until his claws bit into his flesh. The anger he felt made him want to go out and kill something, but he knew he couldn't. He couldn't leave Kagome alone there in the cave. What if she called for him and he was gone? She didn't know where she was and she would be frightened. 

A shifting behind him made him turn his head and smile at the sight. Kagome had turned onto her side and lay curled up in a little ball, her cheek resting on one of his favorite pelts. Feeling the lack of sleep taking a toll on him also, Kouga went back and slipped onto the pelts beside her, curling around her back to offer his heat. Nuzzling her head, the smell of berries and jasmine that always seemed to follow her soothed his anger and made him tighten his protective hold on her. 

Kagome woke up to the feel of someone nuzzling her hair. [This is nice] Turning towards the warmth behind her, Kagome smiled, keeping her eyes closed and sighed, a familiar growling near her ear lulling her back to sleep. 

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Quick Notes: 

Not much of a cliffhanger ending or anything like that, but I hope you liked this chapter. I just wanted to thank those of you who took the time to review. 

****

Candycane:Thanks for being my first reviewer, I know I said I wouldn't post unless I got 10 reviews, but I got over that and updated anyways 'cuz I knew chp. 2 was more important than chp. 1. 

Haruka-san:I agree about Kikyo – she is a bitch – and then some. 

Anonymous 1 (Great Story): I made you want to cry? Oh wow! I'm shocked. I can just picture Inuyasha shopping at pottery barn and mentioning Kikyo. (The baka) I hope you liked this update – I'll kill Inuyasha soon enough. (Or hey, maybe one of the readers will do it for me, you never know!) 

Anonymous 2 (Liar): *Hands over a rifle* It it'll make you feel better, just shoot the stupid hanyou. ^_^ I hope you like this chapter, you did after all, ask for a certain prince to show. 

Pattycake:Ano… thanks for reviewing ^_^; (But what was the v for?) Gomen I just didn't know what to reply. 

Finding Faith:*Hands tissue* Sorry it was so sad, don't cry though, he'll learn his lesson. 

Anzu2:Welps, your suggestion about leaving him was exactly what I had planned, but I hope you don't hate me too much for what happened afterwords. At least Kouga saved her ne-? 

DarkDemonSlayer:Well, she didn't cut off his manhood, although I agree she would have been in her rights to do so, but she did leave him and his hurting will come later. 

Pixie:Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. I was a bit unsure actually, about the smut since I'm not used to writing it, but I'm more ok with how the chapter turned out now. I'm sorry it almost made you cry, but thanks for telling me you liked it. 

And that's the end of the thank yous! 

I just wanted to tell you if anyone wants me to let them know about updates, leave me your e-mail address and I'll let you know. Thanks again to everyone reading and keep reviewing!


	4. Explanations prt1

[ ] Thinking   
  
" " Speaking   
  
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[Where am I?]   
  
Kagome stared at the caved ceiling above and frowned, memories from the previous night suddenly coming back to her. [I was attacked in the forest and Kouga saved me from the youkai hunters. So I guess I must be with Kouga somewhere.]  
  
Sitting up on the nest she'd been lain in, Kagome felt a slight chill run down her spine and blushed when she realized she was naked beneath the furs. Looking down at herself she was shocked by the amount of bruises on her body, although thankfully none reached above her neck. [What am I going to wear? I wonder where's Kouga?]  
  
As if reading her mind, the wolf-youkai she'd been wondering about appeared a few feet away, turning a corner to enter the small den she was in. He seemed oddly shy, and was careful not to come too close. "Good morning, how are you feeling?"  
  
"Sore," Kagome kept her eyes on her lap and fidgeted with the fur covering her upper body. "And I was wondering if you had any regular clothes."  
  
"Umm... I think I might have something," Kouga turned away and searched for the old kimono from one of his pack's raid on a small village nearby. [Should I ask about it? What do I do now?]  
  
"Arigato Kouga-kun," Kagome smiled a little while taking the kimono, her hand a bit hesitant when his came close to touching her.   
  
"Kagome, if its not too much to ask..."  
  
"Hai?"   
  
"Do you think you could bring yourself to drop the honorifics and just call me Kouga?" He looked up hopefully and smiled brightly when she gave a slight nod.  
  
A look of uncertainty came across her eyes as she spoke, "Of course Kouga-k... Kouga, just let me get dressed and we can go from there ok?"  
  
"Of course," Kouga quickly went back to the entrance of the cave, leaving her in total privacy to change.  
  
Looking around the small den, Kagome smiled sadly, feeling guilty for betraying Kouga. [He considers me his woman, he's always protected me and he saved me last night after I gave myself to another youkai.] Tears welled in her eyes at the memory of Inuyasha's love making, her heart had been so happy until the end when he'd shattered her dreams. [How could he use me like that?]  
  
Dressing quickly, Kagome wiped at the tears that had slid down her cheeks and stood, wincing slightly at the soreness in her legs and pubic area. A low whimper escaped her as she took a few steps forward, hardly loud enough for any regular person to hear, but Kouga was at her side in the next instant, a hand held out before her in offer for help.  
  
"Do you want to come out front?" Kouga left his hand in between them, allowing for her to decide whether or not she accepted his help and was relieved when she took it and nodded.   
  
"I want to go back to the well, I need to go home." Kagome came up beside him and winced, a jarring pain going through her lower body when her foot slipped a bit on a rock. "Please take me back Kouga."  
  
"Kagome, I'm not so sure it would be a good idea," Kouga frowned slightly, having planned to keep her beside him from now on. Seeing tears well in her eyes again, he finally gave a curt nod, not wanting to hear her heartbreaking sobs again so soon. "On one condition Kagome."  
  
She sniffled and blinked back her tears, "Hai?"   
  
"You have to come back today, by nightfall or I'll go and get you," Kouga held her hand tightly while looking her in the eyes.   
  
[As if you could] Kagome bit her lip from informing him he couldn't follow her before agreeing and allowing him to lift her into his arms. "Thank you."   
  
Kissing her forehead in reply, Kouga held her tighter and made his way to the front of the cave, surprising her by setting her down on a large rock and kneeling in front of her. "Before I take you back, I want to know what happened last night. Why did I find you alone out there by that well? Where was Inuyasha?"  
  
Kagome hesitated for a moment, wondering how to explain things without telling him what had occurred between herself and the hanyou. "I was sneaking away while he slept since he didn't want me to go home. I asked Kirara for a ride and we were attacked before we got to the well by those hunters."   
  
When he didn't say anything else, Kagome bit her lip and continued, "I wasn't paying attention to Kirara's flying and got knocked off when she dodged one of their attacks. Since I fell on my back pretty hard I couldn't defend myself and..."  
  
"I know the rest," Kouga cut her off, raising his troubled eyes to hers. "I'm so sorry Kagome, I heard your screams but I wasn't fast enough."   
  
Taking her hands in his, he lowered his head to kiss them sweetly. "By the time I arrived it was too late."  
  
"No, Kouga..." Kagome's eyes struggled to hold in the tears brought on by the overwhelming regret she could see he was feeling. "You saved me."   
  
He shook his head "I didn't Kagome, there's no need to lie, I can smell it on you. There's a difference to your scent now. If I hadn't met you before I wouldn't notice it, but I know its there, you're no longer whole. I was too late to stop you from being raped."   
  
A sob escaped Kagome's lips, making him look up worried and show his own tear-filled eyes. "I'm so sorry Kagome."   
  
Shaking her head, Kagome slid into his lap, holding him close in an effort to console the guilt-ridden youkai. She hated seeing him this way, blaming himself for something that hadn't occured, but there was no way she could tell him who had really taken her innocence. [Forgive me Kouga, I couldn't bear to see your reaction to what occurred between Inuyasha and me. You'd be so hurt and disappointed, and I've already caused you enough pain.]  
  
Kagome clung to him as her tears of insecurity and shame got the best of her. Feeling him sit down to cradle her in his lap and run his hands down her back, Kagome was also filled with a wave of intense guilt, knowing she should tell this wolf how she really felt, but couldn't bring herself to do it. [I know I'm being selfish and unfair, but it feels so good to be loved and cared for!]   
  
Allowing herself to give in to the need to be comforted, Kagome lay her head on Kouga's shoulder and rested there a moment before pulling herself back together and fighting back her tears.   
  
"Thank you," she whispered and looked up at him with a small smile on her lips, traces of guilt and pain still showing in her glossy brown eyes. He nodded and pressed another kiss to her forehead, enjoying the feel of her in his arms for another moment before standing and heading over to the entrance of the cave.   
  
His voice barely reached her ears as he began the trip back to the well. "Remember your promise Kagome."   
  
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-At the well-  
  
"Chikusho," Inuyasha stared at the bloodied bodies surrounding him. Not that the sight or scent of blood or dead bodies was new to him, or bothered him that much, it was the green and white material lying beside one of them that had his stomach knotting in apprehension. [Those are the colors of Kagome's uniform]  
  
Coming over and picking them up, her scent was still on them and he clutched them in his hands, eyes desperately searching for any clue as to where Kouga could have taken her. [He wouldn't go back to his clan, he'd want her all to himself.] Relying on the knowledge of youkai's possessiveness with their mates, Inuyasha sniffed around looking for their scent when he suddenly picked up on it, and found himself staring at the couple beside the well.  
  
Kagome lay bridal style in Kouga's arms, her eyes closed against the dust and any small particles that might enter them during their run. A low growl escaped his throat, causing her to open her eyes with a small gasp. The surprise in her eyes was quickly replaced by anger and then a void. [What?]  
  
"What do you think you're doing baka? How dare you take Kagome!" Inuyasha snarled at the wolf holding his woman.  
  
"How dare YOU show your face around here bastard! The only thing keeping me from tearing you to shreds is the fact that I'm holding her!" Kouga snarled right back, a growing amount of anger burning in his eyes.   
  
"So put her down and face me!" Inuyasha's hand gripped Tetsusaiga's handle, dropping the ripped cloths to the ground.   
  
"Please don't Kouga," Kagome held tight to his neck as he set her feet down carefully and turned her back slightly on Inuyasha, not seeing the hurt expression that crossed his features at her actions. "He doesn't know what happened and I'd rather keep it that way."  
  
"Why?" Kouga frowned down on her angrily, "You'd have me suffer for not saving you and keep him in blissful ignorance? If anyone here is guilty for what happened last night it's HIM!"   
  
A sense of dread slowly crept its way into Inuyasha, his anger growing at being kept in ignorance about whatever had taken place. "What the hell are you talking about?"   
  
Both Kagome and Kouga ignored him, continuing with their talk as if he weren't there. "He should have been with you Kagome! I left you in HIS care!"   
  
"I told you Kouga, I snuck away while he slept, there was no way he could have known." Kagome looked up at the sky and frowned, suddenly realizing that her schedule had been completely thrown off balance and that she'd slept through most of the day as the sun began setting. "I can't keep my promise Kouga."  
  
"Then you're not going," He wrapped his arms around her waist to hold her in place.  
  
"I have to go back as soon as possible, but I promise to be here first thing in the morning, its just too late for me to go and come by dark today." Kagome pointed towards the sun, "See what I mean? We spent most of the day sleeping."  
  
"You did what?" Inuyasha finally took note of the unfamiliar kimono she wore and the scent of wolf coming off of Kagome. [Wait, there's something else that smells different.] Moving closer he had to grip his hands at is sides to keep himself from hurting either of them, asking through clenched teeth. "You mated?"  
  
"Wouldn't you just love to find out?" Kouga smirked, a superior look coming into his eyes as he held Kagome.  
  
Turning in Kouga's arms, Kagome stared into Inuyasha's eyes, a pang of fear running through her as she saw the red at the edges. His voice was low and harsh as he spoke to her, "You would sink so low as to rut with this wolf?"   
  
"Being with Kouga wouldn't be stooping to any level." Kagome stared back, squaring her shoulders and moving Kouga's arms from around her, standing defiantly before him. "I wouldn't call what I did last night 'rutting' with anyone, but for your information, I DID spend the morning with Kouga after he saved me from the dead men you see behind you."  
  
"He saved you?" Inuyasha glared at the wolf before focusing on her again. "I don't believe you, do you really think I'm that stupid? You smell like a gaishou! Men's scent all over you!"   
  
*SLAP*  
  
The sound of her palm impacting with his cheek seemed to freeze the three of them for a moment before Kagome fisted her hands on her hips and was able to speak again. Her voice trembled with barely contained anger and hurt as she yelled at him, tears pooling in her eyes. "How DARE you?! You have no right to speak to me like that Inuyasha! And if my stench bothers you so much then you can just leave for all I care! You have NO idea of what the hell you're talking about! How... how... how DARE YOU?!"   
  
She was turned away by Kouga's hand, pulling her to sit beside him on the edge of the well. She struggled to blink back her tears, forcing down the sobs that threatened to overcome her again. Staring into the wolf's angry eyes, she managed to calm herself enough to speak again a few minutes later. "I'll be back first thing in the morning, you should go check in with your pack."  
  
"I will," Kouga struggled to keep down his rage at the hanyou and touched her cheek softly, "Be careful."  
  
Kagome nodded, sniffling a little while she turned her legs into the well and whispered, "Keep my secret?"   
  
"Hai," Kouga hesitantly agreed, a frown on his features as he angrily agreed, "I won't tell."   
  
Leaning over to kiss his cheek, Kagome thanked him again before jumping into the well, relief washing over her as the blue light surrounded her and took her home.  
  
For his part, Inuyasha glared at the wolf and at the place she'd just left. "What the hell happened last night Kouga? Start talking, what's the fucking secret?"   
  
"Just be lucky I promised not to harm you dog-turd. If not for Kagome you'd be one dead mutt." Kouga turned away, growling and turning again to swipe at the foot that stomped on his tail, keeping him from leaving.  
  
"I'm not going to ask again wolf," Inuyasha unsheathed Tetsusaiga, "What the hell happened last night? Did you mate with her?"  
  
Before he could react, Inuyasha felt a searing pain in his stomach as Kouga punched the wind out of him, fracturing a couple of ribs in the process, the strength of his anger adding to his normal power. "I'd shut my big mouth if I were you half-breed!"   
  
"Fuck off," Inuyasha muttered, wincing in pain.   
  
A set of familiar voices caught their attention and made them turn to see Sango and Miroku along with Shippo and Kirara coming into the clearing.   
  
"See, I told you I smelled blood." Shippo squinched his nose and turned his head away from the bodies.  
  
"What happened here?" Miroku asked, looking around for Kagome, "Where is Kagome-sama?"  
  
"She went home," Inuyasha moved away from Kouga and crossed his arms carefully. "She spent the night with HIM."   
  
Turning to Kagome's companions, Kouga looked to the monk and came up in front of him. "Kagome's been through a rough night, she will return in the morning. See to it that dog-turd over there stays the hell away from her until then all right?"  
  
"Inuyasha does what he wants," Shippo glared at the wolf prince. "You're not the boss of him."  
  
"But I AM the mate of Kagome," Kouga glared, silently wondering if he should have said that. "And I will not have my woman upset any more by that hanyou."   
  
"Kagome's MATE?" Sango glanced at Inuyasha, not surprised to see him seething. "You can't honestly mean that? What happened last night?"  
  
"Something bad happened to Kagome didn't it?" Miroku frowned, "Something must have happened to cause her to stay with you overnight. I don't believe she has mated with you however, otherwise you would have been able to follow her into the well and from the looks of things, you can't."  
  
Kouga snorted but did not give a more detailed answer about that, "I promised not to tell what happened. If she wants to share with you she will," Kouga turned away, "I'll be back in the morning as well, just keep the mutt from following Kagome, she needs some time to think."  
  
"Sure," Sango watched the wolf prince form a small tornado around him and run away. [Kami-sama please help us understand what's going on! We need Kagome!]  
  
Turning back to where Miroku and Inuyasha were arguing, she sighed at the view of the dead humans behind them, frowning a bit at the smell. "All right, stop fighting and start cleaning, whatever happened last night was not good and these dead men will only remind Kagome of whatever it was. I want them cleaned out and buried by the time I have dinner made understand?"   
  
"Hai Sango-chan," Miroku turned and started looking over the field, wondering where to start when a nagging feeling came over him. [What could have happened to Kagome-sama to make her leave like this? Did she really mate with Kouga last night?]  
  
Similar thoughts ran through everyone else's heads as they cleaned up the mess. Ignoring his aching ribs, Inuyasha leaned down and grabbed her torn uniform, stuffing the strips into his pocket. [What happened last night? Why the hell didn't I realize she was gone before they woke me up? I can usually sense when she's far away.] Glancing back at the well, he shook his head and focused on the task at hand, forming a plan to take a stroll later on that night. [Yeah, a stroll through time.]   
  
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Back on her own side of the well, Kagome managed to climb out and sneak into her room undetected. Since Souta and her mom were out of the house and her grandpa was meditating, it didn't prove to be too hard a task.   
  
After changing into a pair of baggy black sweats and stretching out a bit, she sighed and sat in front of her mirror in her room, wincing at the sight of dried blood in her hair. [Why didn't I notice that before?] Analyzing her reflection before her, she wondered that she didn't look different. [How can I look so normal when I feel so... lost.] Spying the jewel around her neck, she touched a hand to it and felt her lip tremble as memories of the night before came flooding through her mind.  
  
*  
  
- The feel of lips over hers, a soft tongue exploring her mouth -  
  
*  
  
- A pair of hands gently cupping her breasts before moving away and allowing one to be suckled -  
  
*  
  
- A rough yet soft voice whispering sweet nothings into her ear, licking around her earlobe and teeth nipping carefully. Tears forming in her eyes at the admissions of love she'd yearned so long to hear -  
  
*  
  
- The feel of his chest pressed against hers as he pumped into her from two different places, his fingers wet with her arousal while his breath tickled her neck with his panting -   
  
*  
  
However, more vividly than all that, she remembered the one moment of pure bliss as she was cushioned against his body, basking in his warmth and the afterglow of what they'd just shared - and then...  
  
"Kikyo"   
  
A soft sob escaped her once again, as tears slipped from her eyes down her cheeks. [Why did I have to look so much like HER?!] Glaring at her reflection, she angrily stood and walked away, looking at her watch and quickly grabbing her wallet. [I hope I don't have to pay or show a school I.D.] Crossing her fingers, she hurried downstairs and out to the bus stop, praying to the Kami's that she wouldn't have to explain too much.   
  
Luckily for her, the nurse at the university was in a hurry and not too interested in formalities. After signing a few papers, taking a pill and getting a small vial, Kagome was on her way home and a bit more relaxed knowing there wouldn't be any serious consequences for her actions of the night before. [Thank god for health class and modern medicine!]  
  
Arriving back home, she happily greeted her family and sat down to dinner with them. After telling them of their most recent adventures in the Sengoku Jidai, she kissed her mom and grandpa good night and raced Souta up to his room. "So where's Inuyasha? Is he coming to get you?"  
  
A pained look came over Kagome's eyes and she shook her head to clear it, "I'm going back tomorrow morning, I just needed a break."   
  
"Nooo!" Souta sighed and smacked her arm playfully, surprise when she yelped and glared at him. "What's the matter with your arm?"  
  
"Nothing, we were just attacked and I got a few bruises." Kagome shrugged and jumped up from his bed, "Time to go to sleep right? Good night little man!"   
  
"Kagome?" Souta's voice stopped her at the door.   
  
"Hai?"  
  
"Have you ever... umm..." Souta sat on the edge of the bed, wondering how to word his question correctly. "Has anyone ever hurt you?"  
  
Kagome felt her heart stop for a second, eyes wide and staring at her little brother while he continued. "I mean, have you ever been hurt badly enough to come close to dying? In the past... with Inuyasha?"   
  
"Oh..."   
  
Kagome sighed and came back to his side, gently nudging his legs into bed and pulling up the covers before sitting beside him. "A couple of times I've been hurt pretty badly. I've had my soul stolen from me a lot and there have been a few demons who've wanted to eat me and stuff, but its not something you should worry about Souta."  
  
"But I do worry about you Kagome, you're my nee-chan, I don't want anything to happen to you." Souta sat up and hugged her around the waist, "You're all I have and I miss you when you're gone."   
  
"Souta..." Tears swam in Kagome's eyes and she kissed the top of his head. "You know I love you, and I miss you when I'm gone too but I have to help complete the Shikon no Tama, I'm the one who broke it after all."  
  
"That's right, and it helps to know that Inuyasha takes good care of you. Mom says she wouldn't let you go off like that if she didn't trust him so much." Souta gave her a smile and lay back on the bed.  
  
"Hai, I always have Inuyasha to watch over me," Kagome felt tears prick the corners of her eyes and leaned down to peck him on the cheek before standing. "Good night Souta, sweet dreams."  
  
"You too," his cheerful smile making her heart ease a bit and calm her down.  
  
Heading into her room, Kagome sighed and realized she wasn't all that sleepy. [I should go back, demo... I'm not ready to face him yet. Not alone.] After half an hour of trying to fall asleep with no luck, she finally gave in and made her way out to the well, a small case held tightly in her hand.   
  
Arriving on the other side, she slowly made her way to the village, stopping uncertainly outside Kaede's hut. A familiar voice behind her made her relax and turn with a smile.   
  
"Glad to see you've returned Kagome-sama, we were worried." Miroku watched her turn and was relieved by her smile, true happiness to see him shinning in her eyes.  
  
"Thank goodness you're alone Miroku," Kagome came over and looped her arm around his, turning him away from the hut towards the forest. "What are you doing out here?"  
  
"Praying, I've just finished praying for the souls of those youkai hunters and was on my way back when I saw you standing there. The others should be inside the hut." He allowed her to lead him away and looked her over carefully. "Daijoubu Kagome-sama? You seem troubled."  
  
"Ano... I'm fine Miroku," Kagome sighed and leaned her head against his shoulder, smiling as he tsk'd and shook his head at her a bit.  
  
"Please give me more credit than that Kagome-sama, I am a houshi after all, I know a troubled soul when I'm near one."   
  
Kagome giggled slightly, looking up at his 'innocent monk' expression, "As if I didn't know you Miroku. Hentai Houshi is what you are."  
  
"Hentai Houshi?" he chuckled and stopped beneath a tree not far from the spring they bathed in. "Care to have a seat beside me anyways?"  
  
"I'd love to," Kagome sat and stared out into the forest, a need to talk to someone keeping her from remaining silent. "Miroku, we've known one another for quite some time ne-?"  
  
"Hai"  
  
"And I'd say we're good friends, wouldn't you?"  
  
"Of course Kagome-sama"   
  
"And if one of us needed help, the other would come right?"  
  
Miroku frowned, not liking the way that sounded but once again answered affirmatively. "Hai."  
  
"And you know I'm proud to say you're my friend right? And you're proud of me too?"  
  
"Of course Kagome-sama, I'll always be proud to be friends with you, but I don't see where you are going with this," he glanced down at her beside him and frowned more deeply at the sadness in her eyes.  
  
"Miroku, I need to talk to someone, but I'm afraid." Kagome looked back down into her lap. "I'm afraid of disappointing you or Sango."  
  
"You could never do that Kagome-sa..."  
  
"Could you just call me Kagome?" She interrupted him and bit her lip slightly, "I don't really like being referred to as -sama."  
  
"All right, Kagome," Miroku took advantage of her asking to be rid of the formalities and raised his hand to her chin, lifting it so her eyes met his. "Now stop hesitating and tell me what's bothering you. What happened last night? Why were you with Kouga?"  
  
Looking away for a second from his gaze, Kagome finally worked up her courage to explain. "I was hurt last night by a guy."  
  
"You were hurt?" Miroku released her chin and looked down at the bruise she exposed by lifting her shirt a bit. "How did this happen?"   
  
"I was attacked, by those men at the well," Kagome took a deep breath and continued, "They knocked me off Kirara and jumped on me."  
  
Her voice wavered and came out softer and slower with each word as she continued, "My hands and legs were held down and my clothes were torn off and they..."  
  
"Kami-sama," Miroku stared horrified at the girl beside him, "Tell me they didn't."  
  
Kagome shook her head, "No, they didn't get to actually r-r-r..."  
  
"Hurt you," Miroku cut her off, understanding perfectly well her inability to say the dreaded word. "They didn't get a chance to hurt you, I imagine we have a certain youkai prince to thank for that."  
  
"Hai, Kouga saved me from them," Kagome's throat tightened as she continued, "But it was too late."  
  
Miroku's relief was cut short, his blood freezing in his veins for a second before he could ask what she meant. "Doushite?"  
  
"I had already been... used."   
  
He was dreading the answer to this next question, with good reason as he soon discovered. "By whom Kagome?"  
  
Kneeling beside him and holding his shoulders tightly in her hands, Kagome first insisted he keep silent about it. "Promise you won't say anything Miroku! Promise me please! I couldn't bear it if he found out!"  
  
"Who was it Kagome? I promise not to divulge your secret," Miroku held her arms carefully, keeping her eyes locked with his as he promised.   
  
Her gaze went back down and settled on a fold in his robe as she answered, "It was Inuyasha."  
  
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Japanese vocab:  
  
Arigato - thank you  
  
Chikusho - damn, shit  
  
Gaishou - prostitute/whore/streetwalker  
  
(O)nee-chan - big sister  
  
Ano - colloquially, it means "umm" ... literally, it means "that thing over there"  
  
Hentai - pervert/perverted  
  
Houshi - monk  
  
Daijoubu - Are you ok? / Everything's ok  
  
ne-? - sort of like 'hmm?' or 'isn't that right?', used when you expect a positive response; also used to get somebody's attention in a casual manner  
  
Doushite - Why?  
  
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Replies to reviewers:  
  
Anzu2 - Yep, you are psychic! (Slightly) I hope this chapter was ok for ya!  
  
SweetEyedChick - Doesn't Kikyo always ruin everything? ^_^   
  
pattycake - That's ok, I was just a little confused for a moment. I'm glad you're enjoying the fic so far, keep reding!  
  
diorgirly - I hope this update didn't take too long. I'm sorry if it did but I'm having major computer troubles and sometimes can't even get the old thing to work.  
  
lilramona - thanks, I hope you keep enjoying it.  
  
Chiisai-tori - I hope this update didnt' take too long. I just had to review your fic, I totally loved it. I'm quite hooked with all your fics really, you're a great writer so thank you for reading mine!  
  
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Thank you all for reading! I'm thrilled by the response I've gotten so far and looking forward to writing the next chapter A.S.A.P. Gomen for taking a while to update but as I mentioned to diorgirly - my computer's really acting up. (Well, I've got to cut it some slack too - the poor thing's like 5 years old, almost 6 ) *glares at dad* I'm hoping to get a new one soon.   
  
*cross your fingers for me!* 


	5. Explanations prt2

[ ] Thinking   
  
" " Speaking   
  
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Miroku froze, shocked disbelief apparent in his wide eyes, making Kagome sit back further from him. He quickly found his voice however and had to ask what she meant. "You're saying Inuyasha raped you?"  
  
Kagome shook her head, "I said he 'used' me, not raped, there's a difference."  
  
"And what might that be?" Miroku watched her fiddling with her pants with a feeling he didn't want to know.  
  
"A rape is forced, one person forcing another to submit," Kagome gulped, tears pooling in her eyes as her chin trembled, struggling to go on and feeling only slightly relieved when he seemed to understand.  
  
"He didn't force you?"   
  
"No"  
  
Miroku nodded, picking up on her meaning. "I don't see how he used you then, Kagome, if you were... *ahem* a willing participant, I could say."  
  
Kagome nodded before raising hurt eyes up to his again, "I'll admit it Miroku, I willingly gave myself to him. I let him take me and I enjoyed it. The actual act was everything I'd hoped my first time would be and more!" Her voice caught in her throat suddenly, her head dropping to gaze at the grass below once again. "It was when he said her name that I realized what had happened."  
  
[NO!]   
  
Miroku's heart stopped at the thought of Inuyasha saying Kikyo's name after being with Kagome. [Its not possible, he wouldn't do that. Not even Inuyasha's that stupid.] But even as he tried to deny it, he knew it was no use, the hanyou WAS that stupid sometimes. And this time he'd gone too far.  
  
"Miroku?" Kagome's timid voice brought him out of his thoughts. "Gomen nasai."  
  
"Nani?" the monk focused on the girl sitting curled up beside him. Her head hung low, shoulders slumped forward and shaking slightly with soft sobs. "Kagome, what do you have to be sorry for?"  
  
"I just feel so... ashamed," Kagome looked up, showing her tear-streaked cheeks and guilt-ridden eyes. "I would never have done anything like that if I hadn't thought..."  
  
"Hai, I know Kagome," Miroku reached over to wipe a few tears from her face, cupping her cheek in his hand. "You really love the baka, don't you?"   
  
Kagome nodded, allowing him to move closer and hold her in a loose hug. All the hurt she'd thought she was finished with came back in a rush, causing her soft tears to become a flood and force her to lean on him for support. Holding her a bit more tightly, Miroku struggled with his own emotions over this new occurance, snapping out of it as she began speaking again.  
  
"He used me Miroku! I would have never done that with just any guy but I've loved him for so long and I thought he'd finally realized it and come to love me too." A sob interrupted her before she continued. "He was so sweet and gentle and loving."  
  
Lifting heartbroken eyes to his, Miroku struggled not to flinch at the pain he saw in her once-cheerful orbs. "He actually admitted his love! He kept repeating aishiteru and things like 'you belong to me' and... and... we were settling down to sleep when he sighed and pulled me tighter and... called out her name."   
  
Anguished tears flowed from her eyes, her sobs muffled by his robes as he settled against the tree, holding her close and trying to soothe the poor girl in his arms. [What do you say to that? 'I'm sorry my best friend's an idiot?] Miroku held her tight and whispered soft re-assurances into her ear, promising she'd be ok and that everything would work out.   
  
"I don't want to see him Miroku! I can't!" Kagome clung to his robes, "How can I travel with him after that?"   
  
"Kagome, you know you can't give up on the quest for the jewel shards. You're the center of our group, you keep us together." Miroku sighed, "You're going to have to face him sometime, its inevitable."  
  
"Why can't I hate him Miroku?" Kagome suddenly sat up and looked into his eyes again, "Shouldn't I? After what happened? I mean, I thought he was making love to me and he was just using my body in her place! And he called me a gaishou!"   
  
[What the hell was he thinking?] Miroku's features hardened a bit, nodding at her, "I'll help you with him Kagome, just stick by my side and ignore him." Miroku looked up as the sound of a twig snapping nearby reached his ears. "He's coming."  
  
Kagome slipped away and looked off toward the forest, away from the direction the grumbling was coming from. She stiffened as she heard Inuyasha stop a few feet away from them.   
  
"When did you get back bitch?" he would have crossed his arms had Miroku's staff not suddenly hit him hard across the head just then.   
  
"What the hell's your problem monk?" Inuyasha growled, already unnerved by the scent of Kagome and her tears that came from the baka with the staff.  
  
"Just watch that mouth of yours Inuyasha!" Miroku helped Kagome stand and followed her towards the hut where the others were. "Don't follow us! We need to talk alone!"   
  
"What the hell's your problem Miroku?" Inuyasha easily caught up with them, glowering at the monk but also trying to catch a good look at Kagome, who was looking away from them.   
  
Miroku merely shook his head and sent him a glare, settling one hand on the small of Kagome's back to lead her away from the hanyou. To Inuyasha's surprise, Kagome didn't react to his touch as she normally did. Instead of giving a squeak and slapping him silly, she moved closer to him, sliding one arm around his waist, and resting her head against his shoulder. Miroku gave a sad little smile and another glare at the hanyou before moving his hand up to wrap around her shoulders and hold her close.   
  
"Let's go sowewhere else Kagome," Miroku led her away from the hut and continued walking towards the Goshinboku with her settled against him quietly.   
  
Her voice was soft, but audible to his ears as she spoke over her shoulder to Inuyasha telling him not to follow them. "Unless you want to eat dirt from here to the other side of the world, I'd stay away if I were you."   
  
"But Kagome!" Inuyasha whined, surprised by her cold reply.  
  
"Don't Inuyasha."   
  
Walking away with Miroku, Kagome sighed and was relieved when they arrived at the familiar tree, sitting across one another on its upraised roots comfortably. Kagome was the one to break the silence between them, biting her lip nervously for a moment. "What am I going to do Miroku?"  
  
"Kagome I know this is difficult for you, but I cannot help you if I don't fully understand what happened last night. I don't know how you ended up with Kouga or what happened this morning." Miroku took one of her hands in his and gently coaxed her into talking.  
  
Twenty minutes later, they sat quietly, Kagome once again looking down at the floor guiltily. "And to top things off, Kouga's feeling really guilty over not saving me. He thinks it was the humans who took my virginity."  
  
Miroku nodded, frowning for a moment before speaking, "Kagome, have you stopped to think of the consequences that last night's events might bring? You may end up with chil..."  
  
"No," Kagome interrupted, "I went back to my time where there is a pill given to young women to prevent them from concieving. Its given by the University's nursing staff to girls like me, who've been violated, but it has to be taken the day after the event occurs, which is why I was in such a hurry to get home."  
  
"Such marvels they have in your time Kagome, I'd love to see some of these things," Miroku sighed and stood. "Well, my advice to you would be, for the time being, to continue to allow Kouga to believe it was the humans who hurt you."  
  
"But..."  
  
"And also use this story with Inuyasha and the others." Miroku hurried to explain, "Inuyasha has no recollection of what occured last night Kagome, he was drinking sake with the villagers before he went to bed and we both know he has almost no tolerance for it. He was probably so drunk he saw you as Kikyo once again and thinks it was her he slept with."  
  
"Okay," Kagome gulped past the knot in her throat at the thought. Feeling a familiar presence nearby, she sighed and crossed her arms, speaking calmly.  
  
"SIT"   
  
Inuyasha gave a yelp, falling head-first from the branch he'd hidden on and growling low in his throat as his head hit the dirt rather roughly. "Damned bitch."  
  
Waiting impatiently for the spell to wear off, Kagome listened as he stood and took a step, turning with a glare. "I SAID SIT!"  
  
To her delight, Inuyasha crashed to the ground with another growl, yelling up at her. "Fuck woman! What the hell's gotten into you?!"   
  
"What'd I tell you about following us?" Miroku came over and shocked Inuyasha by grabbing the neck of his haori pulling him up far enough to glare into his eyes. "Did you listen in on our conversation?"  
  
"No, I just got here," Inuyasha pushed himself away, wiping two 'sits' worth of dirt off his face. "Kaede was worried that you were out late so she sent me to find you."  
  
"We'll go back now," Miroku watched Inuyasha frown angrily at Kagome, wondering what could make him look at her that way.   
  
The reason was unfortunately quite obvious as she stretched her arms over her head, her shirt and sweatshirt raising a bit so a part of her stomach and waist peeked out. The site of her skin nearly matching her sweats too painful a sight for him, Miroku turned his head away sharply, turning back quickly enough when Kagome let out a squeak.   
  
"Don't!" Kagome stepped away from Inuyasha, tripping on the root she'd sat on and flying over it to land flat on her back. A pained moan escaped her, followed by another squeak when she found her shirt being lifted by a hanyou squatting above her, a low growl emanating from his throat.  
  
[What the hell happened to her?] Inuyasha ignored her struggling while he lifted her shirt higher to inspect her bruised body, surprised when a strange force suddenly pulled him away from her. As he tumbled to the ground where Miroku had been standing, he managed to see the monk re-adjusting the prayer beads on his hand and hurrying over to Kagome's side.  
  
"Kagome daijobu?"   
  
She nodded, curling up on her side with her eyes closed. Miroku whirled on the hanyou, who was lifting himself up and growling in anger. The monk's own eyes burned in rage as he yelled at his friend, "What are you thinking?! We told you to keep away for a reason!"  
  
"You knew?!" Inuyasha stormed towards him, ready to punch his lights out when Kagome slammed him back to the ground. A string of curses were mumbled into the dirt as she sat him a good five times. [Bitch is going to break my back!]  
  
"Come Kagome, let's get you inside," Miroku helped her up and held her close again while they walked away from the furious hanyou. "Don't even think of coming near the hut Inuyasha, I'm putting up wards tonight."  
  
[What the hell's gotten into them?] Inuyasha sighed, forcing himself to relax as the spell wore off and the pain in his back lessened. [What could have happened to Kagome? I can't believe Kouga would hurt her or let her get hurt like that.]   
  
Standing and heading towards the hut, he was dismayed to find the door covered in scrolls, Miroku obviously had kept his word and blocked him out. [What is his problem? And why's he holding her so close? He'd better not be getting any ideas!] With an angry glare at the hut, he turned and would have headed to the forest if the sound of soft sobbing hadn't stopped him in his tracks.  
  
[What keeps making Kagome cry?] His anger faded suddenly, replaced by a feeling of hurt dejection at her confiding in the monk instead of himself. [What'd I do for her to avoid me? I always thought I was her best friend.] Moving onto the roof of the hut, he crawled over to the back where Kaede's small room was located. Kagome's soft crying was muffled, but his ears could hear it clearly and he wished he could do something to help.   
  
Knowing he wouldn't be able to sleep while she was in so much pain, he decided against leaving and lay back, listening carefully in hopes she'd fall asleep soon, if only to help her stop thinking of whatever was bothering her.   
  
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"Kagome!"   
  
Shippo's excited shout alerted turned everyone's attention towards the door of the hut. Surely enough, the young girl stood wiping her sleepy eyes and yawning. "Ohyao minna-san," she managed a small smile and stretched again, excusing herself quickly as she headed towards the woods.  
  
"I have to meet with Kouga-ku... um, with Kouga at the well, I'll be back in a while," she surprised them by grabbing Miroku's hand and pulling along with her. "You don't mind if I borrow him ne-?"  
  
"Of course not Kagome-chan," Sango and Kaede stared wide-eyed at the girl ignoring Inuyasha and tugging the monk with her.   
  
"Inuyasha what's this all about? What happened?" Shippo crossed his arms and glared at him, "She didn't even hug me!"  
  
"Feh, that's not my problem kid!" Jumping up into the nearest tree and quickly followed their scent towards the well. He wasn't surprised to pick up on Kouga's scent too once he got close enough. Stopping at the sound of hushed voices, he settled onto a branch to watch them from afar.  
  
"Get out here baka, I can hear you," Kouga glared in his direction, bringing a growl from the hanyou approaching them. "Don't get me started dog-turd, I already told you the only reason you live is Kagome."  
  
"What the hell'd you do to her anyway?" Inuyasha crossed his arms and stood a bit away from them all.   
  
"Kouga didn't do anything," Kagome interrupted, moving to stand between the two of them with her back to Inuyasha again, continuing the conversation they'd been in before he came. "I understand you have to stay with your pack Kouga, that's where you belong, just like I belong here with my pack. I just wanted to thank you again for..."   
  
"Don't thank me!" Kouga's hands shot out to grab her arms, eyes looking into hers with that same pain and guilt she'd seen before. "You shouldn't thank me! Why can't you get that in your head Kagome?"  
  
[Oh Kami why do I have to do this?] Kagome sniffled and stepped up to him, wrapping her arms around his neck as he moved to hold her. Her choked up voice was muffled by her arms and his neck a bit, but still loud enough for him and the others to hear. "You did save me. It could have been so much worse Kouga!"   
  
Kagome sighed and relaxed against him, savoring the feel of his warmth surrounding her. [I feel so safe here with you. Why couldn't I have fallen in love with you Kouga? You're so sweet, you don't deserve this!] To everyone's surprise, she pulled back and kissed his cheek.   
  
Grant you, this was no small peck. The kiss was soft, sweet, heart-felt and lasted long enough to convey her thanks and fondness for the wolf. As she stepped back and slid her hands down from his neck, she blushed and looked down at her tennis shoe digging into the ground.   
  
Kouga felt as if his heart were soaring, a wide smile spreading on his face as he lifted her face up to kiss her forehead as he had before, if a bit more enthusiastically. He looked at the stunned houshi behind her and became serious again, "Watch over her well, I leave her under your care."  
  
"Hai," Miroku nodded and released the breath he realized he'd been holding as the wolf hugged Kagome one more time, kissed the top of her head and was off.   
  
[What the...?!] Inuyasha remained frozen in place, staring at the blushing girl who saddened at the wolf's departure. [She can't be in love with him! She just... CAN'T!]  
  
Following them silently back towards the hut, he wondered suddenly when things had changed so drastically without him knowing. [When was the last time we saw Kouga? Last month? Was she this nice to him then?]  
  
Kagome's voice brought him out of his thoughts, making him also realize that they were back at the village and with the others. "Could we go inside please? I really don't feel comfortable out here."  
  
"Of course Kagome-chan," Sango followed them inside, watching Inuyasha follow carefully. "We removed the scrolls this morning."  
  
"Thanks," he grumbled, stepping inside, surprised to find Kagome kneeling with her hands demurely set in her lap, her eyes focused on the fire pit in the center of the room.  
  
Her voice was soft and insecure as she spoke, "I know you're all curious about what's going on and I want to apologize for my odd behavior lately. I've had to deal with a lot since the night before last, in a relatively short period of time."   
  
She wavered for a moment, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, exhaling slowly before she continued. "I'd really rather not talk about what happened and I beg you not to make me explain."  
  
"If that's how you feel, of course we won't pressure you Kagome," Sango smiled, sending Miroku a look that showed she expected to hear about it later.  
  
He shook his head sadly and focused on Kagome again, "Would you like to rest for a little while? You didn't get much sleep last night."  
  
"Iie, I'll be ok," Kagome yawned and stretched again, having not seemed to remember the last time she had done so.   
  
"Damnit wench we're not going anywhere until you explain what happened!" Inuyasha exploded, once again infuriated by the sight of her bruised skin. "What the fuck were you doing with Kouga? And why are you black and blue all over?"  
  
"None of your damned business Inuyasha!" Kagome snapped, standing and grabbing her bag, which she'd been relieved to see they'd brought.   
  
"What?!" Inuyasha jumped to his feet and stomped over to stand in front of her, hands on his hips and a feral growl rising in his throat. "What'd you just say?"  
  
Kagome threw her head back, eyes sparkling in her own anger, "I said it was none of your damned business and I meant it."   
  
Caught by surprise, she yelped when her arms were roughly grabbed and she was lifted off her feet with a slight shake. "What the hell's gotten into you?"  
  
A blow to his head was the only reply he got, forcing him to let her go and whirl to the monk behind him angrily. Miroku's anger was at the same level as his and he stood his ground, glaring right back at the furious hanyou. "Don't you dare touch Kagome that way again baka!"  
  
"Since when do you order me around?" Inuyasha growled, "Besides we all know I'd never hurt the bitch."   
  
"Don't call me that!" Kagome smacked him on the head, not flinching when he turned with a growl towards her. "My name's Kagome, use anything other than that to refer to me and I'll make you regret it!"  
  
"What the hell's your problem? Upset because your lover had to leave you here?" he was growling at the thought of her sleeping wtih Kouga, although the change in her scent made it obvious what had happened between them.  
  
"SIT!"   
  
Kagome glared down at the boy by her feet, tears swimming in her eyes once again at the memory of him calling her a gaishou a few days earlier. "Kouga is just a friend! He saved me from those humans you buried after they attacked me!"   
  
"You were attacked?" Shippo's eyes widened as he looked her over for any injuries.  
  
"Hai, but I'm fine," Kagome turned to the doorway, "Thank you for everything Kaede-sama, we'll see you soon."  
  
"Let's get going," Miroku stepped on Inuyasha's back as he followed Kagome outside, smirking at the enraged hanyou.   
  
As Sango and Shippo followed, carefully avoiding him, they hurried to catch up, ignoring his cursing as Kagome sat him again from afar. [She really is out to break me] Inuyasha growled, waiting for the spell to go away.  
  
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I've had some trouble with it and so I'm leaving it there for now.   
  
eddie4 - sorry this update was so short.  
  
  
  
psychonite - wouldn't we all like to damn the miko back to hell?  
  
Kat14 - Well, the update took a while and was short but I'll have another chapter up sooner.   
  
lilramona - I'm glad you loved the story, thanks for reviewing again!  
  
Chiisai-tori - I love having Miroku and Kagome on friendlier terms, he's such a sweetie (despite his hentaii side) and I really think they're the type to click well together.  
  
Lynns - Well, it wasn't quite right away, but I really struggled with this chapter. I think I re-wrote it like four times and I'm still not too sure about it.   
  
code-wyze - Isn't angst fun? Its one of my favorite genres really. I'm curious about your ideas for how this could be a tragedy (I hadn't planned on it, but now I'm intrigued - it could be a good thing)   
  
BelleDayNight - Well, he didn't beat up the hanyou quite yet, but its coming. Believe me, Inuyasha's going to be hurting something awful soon.  
  
pattycake - Thanks, I know, I love Iny despite his stupidness too. I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far, I really look forward to your reviews. And thank you for putting me on your favorites list, its really encouraging when someone likes your story enough to have it on their favorites.   
  
princess of the blue moon - Sorry it took a while to update, but like I've told a few other readers, I REALLY struggled with this chapter even if it came out a bit short. I have mid-terms next Mon & Wed so I won't be updating 'till afterwords, but I hope to have the next chapter up sooner than this one was.  
  
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And thanks to all the other readers who've enjoyed the story so far. As soon as mid-terms are over I'll be updating faster, but I'm currently stuck studying for a tough history test. See you later! 


	6. Lullabies

" " Speaking

Thoughts

* * *

"Umm... Kagome?"

Looking down at the kitsune walking beside her, Kagome smiled, "Hai Shippo?"

"What's gotten into you and Miroku? Why are you so mad at Inuyasha?"

Hesitating for a moment, Kagome picked the kit up and cradled him in her arms. "I guess we were harsh with him earlier, demo I'm not really mad - more like confused about some stuff he's done."

"Did he argue with you again?" Turning away from her, Shippo focused on the hanyou trailing not far behind. "Hey Inuyasha what did you do to Kagome?"

"Feh," Glaring at the kit on her shoulder, Inuyasha crossed his arms and looked away, knowing he must have done something to cause this change in them. But what the hell is it? I haven't done anything rude since she left the night before last.

Going over the past few days, he couldn't remember doing anything to make her mad. If anyone should be mad it should be ME! She's the one who got herself into trouble after all, running off and sleeping with Kouga! I'M the one who was betrayed... again. Shoulders slumped, Inuyasha dragged his feet and kicked a rock in his way, not wanting to think of that fact - not yet.

Up ahead Kagome quieted Shippo down and glanced back towards Inuyasha, almost flinching at the sight of his dejected stance. If Miroku's right, he has no idea what he did. He doesn't know he slept with me instead of Kikyo, he probably thought it was a crazy drunken dream or something. But what am I supposed to do? Forget about it? Act like nothing happened? I can't!

"What're you thinking about?" Shippo cut off her thoughts again, the worry in his voice bringing a soft smile to her face.

"Nothing for you to worry about," scratching his tummy idly, Kagome yawned and turned to the others. "Anyone else want to set up camp? I'm getting kind of tired."

Sango readily agreed, turning to the hanyou coming closer slowly. "What do you say Inuyasha?"

"Whatever," Stomping past them, he jumped into the nearest tree and settled in, keeping his eyes focused away from them.

With a sad look in her eyes, Kagome helped set up camp, thanking Miroku when he took over her work and gave her some time to herself. Remembering there was a spring nearby, Kagome excused herself and grabbed some of her things, heading off to bathe on her own.

Taking the chance while she was gone, Inuyasha surprised them by leaping down from the tree in front of the monk. "Spill houshi, what's going on?"

I knew this was coming Miroku calmly moved back to sit on his legs, arms crossed in front of him, "What is it you'd like to know?"

"You're going to tell me just like that? You didn't want me listening to your conversations earlier and now you're going to tell me all that was said between you two?" Inuyasha raised a disbelieving eyebrow in his direction.

Miroku shook his head a little, "I cannot tell you everything, I promised her, but I can answer some basic questions."

Shippo and Sango came over, the former quickly taking the opportunity to speak, "Why's she so sad? What did Inuyasha do?"

"Feh, who said it was my fault?" Inuyasha was quick to snap back.

"It always is," Sango reminded him, "What's wrong Miroku?"

Sitting around him, they waited for answers. Miroku hesitated for a moment about where to begin, deciding to use the story Kagome had told Kouga like he'd advised her to do. "Kagome wanted to go home, but she knew Inuyasha wouldn't let her, so she waited for him to fall asleep before sneaking off. She asked Kirara for a ride back to the well and was nearly there when they were attacked by the youkai hunters we buried."

"We know that already?" Inuyasha interrupted, impatient as ever and urging him to get to the point.

Giving a droll stare, Miroku continued, "As you all know, Kouga saved her, but he arrived a bit late."

Sango visibly paled, gulping before wetting her dry lips and asking, "W-What are you saying? How late?"

"I think you can guess," Miroku said softly, "Inuyasha, you held her tattered clothes, its not that hard to realize what Kouga found, let's just say he... stopped things from getting worse."

Kami-sama Inuyasha sat back in shock, horrified by the realization of what she'd really been through.

"Kouga took her back to one of his dens and let her sleep things off, he did nothing innapropriate towards her. It seems he was simply guilt-ridden by the fact that he hadn't been there in time." Miroku silently took hold of Sango's arm to give the crying girl some consolation.

"Miroku what did they do to Kagome?" Shippo asked, still uncertain about what they were saying, "Why did Inuyasha find her clothes?"

"Because they were ripped off," Kagome's soft voice snapped their heads towards the forest. She stood there quietly wearing her pjs with her damp hair clinging to her shoulders covered by a short towel.

Inuyasha flinched, seeing for the first time the dark bruises on her wrists and arms, a few bite marks visible on a portion of her neck. Shivering when a soft breeze flew by, she looked uncharacteristically young and vulnerable all alone there with her shoulders slumped and that hauntingly sad look in her eyes.

"I was knocked from Kirara's back and they ripped them off," Kagome moved closer, kneeling between Miroku and Sango. "Oh Sango, don't cry please."

"H-How can't I?" Sango sniffled, wiping tears from her eyes.

"Do it for me, I-I don't want to cry anymore," Kagome whispered hoarsly, blinking back her own tears furiously. "And I will if I see you or someone else cry for me. I can't be strong by myself, I need help."

Sango nodded, swallowing past the lump in her throat before giving a shaky smile, "Of course Kagome-chan."

"I still don't understand!" Shippo wailed, catching them all by surprise, "What happened! Why's Kagome mad at Inuyasha? What aren't you guys explaining to me?"

"Inuyasha got drunk the other night," Kagome motioned for Shippo to come onto her lap and stroked his back softly. "And he went into the wrong room."

"That's right, he spent the night in ours," Sango frowned, looking up at the equally confused hanyou.

"I don't know how I got there! I didn't really pay attention the next day since you woke me up kind of rudely," Inuyasha frowned, remembering his surprise at finding himself naked that morning and following the scent of Kagome's tears outside.

"What happened?" he asked, moving forward towards her, stopping with a bit of space between them. "You were crying for some reason, I followed the scent of your tears and they suddenly stopped where I guess Kirara picked you up. But why were you crying?"

"I can't tell you," Kagome whispered, standing slowly again, "I can't tell you Inuyasha, you have to remeber on your own."

"So I did something while I was drunk?" Inuyasha felt his heart skip a beat and shot up, reaching out a hand to touch her arm.

"Don't," Kagome stepped back, handing Shippo over to Miroku, "Don't do this Inuyasha, I couldn't bear your kindness right now, I can't!"

Realizing the need to tred softly with her, he carefully took hold of her arm and touched the bruises there, "I'm not being kind Kagome, I just need to know if I had anything to do with these, did I?"

When she gave no reply, he bit his lip and asked again, rather unsteadily, "Kagome did I hurt you?"

Wondering how to answer that without having to tell him what happened, she finally found a middle ground, "You didn't bruise me, these markings are from those men."

Releasing the breath he hadn't realized he was holding, Inuyasha tensed again when she continued, lifting pain-filled eyes to his, "But you did hurt me, Inuyasha, you hurt me in the worst way possible... and you don't even remember."

Slipping her hand from his, she turned away and moved to sit by the fire, leaving the confused hanyou to struggle with that small clue. "I'm sorry for my rude behavior earlier but I don't know what to do."

Kami-sama what could I have done? Looking down at his clawed hands, he frowned, ignoring the others who finally decided they could move and went over to the fire beside Kagome. The rest of the evening went by silently, after eating, they all climbed into bed and settled down to sleep. To the other's surprise, Kagome moved her sleeping bag away from the tree it had been left under and set it beside Miroku's, giving the monk a smile before settling in to sleep.

With a soft sigh, she snuggled into the blankets with Shippo in her arms and closed her eyes, hoping sleep would come soon. Hearing a noise in the tree above, she looked up saw the familiar red and silver of Inuyasha sitting on a branch. He was frowning and looking up at the stars, obviously in deep thought about something.

He looked so worried when he thought he'd hurt me, he's so confused - but I can't help him. Not with this. Closing her eyes once again, she forced herself to keep them closed until she finally fell asleep.

"What are you humming?"

Shippo once again interrupted Kagome's thoughts. She'd been pensive all day, following the group quietly. Despite the fact that everyone knew what had happened, she tended to stay close Miroku for some reason. Sango had tried to get her to talk, but hadn't been very successful and soon left her alone. Shippo had traveled on Miroku's shoulder, if only to be near Kagome some more.

"Hmmm? Oh, my humming?" Kagome shrugged, "I dunno, its a song I used to like when I was little."

Frowning suddenly when a drop of water hit her nose, she blinked and realized suddenly how dark the day was. I thought it was just my mood Heavy rain clouds loomed above them, larger droplets coming faster by the minute.

"We've got to find some shelter!" Miroku removed his kesa and raised over his head, tugging Kagome closer when she stepped beside him under the small cover.

"Feh, no shit," Inuyasha scanned the area around them and pointed to the nearest mountain, "There must be a cavern or cliff there, let's go!"

"Kirara!" Sango motioned for the cat demon to transform, hurrying her friends over to hitch a ride.

Without hesitation, Kagome and Miroku climbed on behind her, Shippo settling in between the monk's thick robes, allowing Kagome to hold on better. With her thick back pack, she'd decided to sit behind him, holding tightly to his robes. Inuyasha and Kirara kept a quick pace and were soon scanning the hillside for a place to rest.

"There!"

Inuyasha pointed to a cavern a good 50 meters above them. Hopping up to inspect it and make sure there was nothing else using it, he nodded to Kirara and stepped inside shaking off the water while they joined him.

To everyone's surprise, halfway up the hill, Kagome moved a hand to swipe her bangs from her eyes and was nearly knocked over by a strong gust of wind that hit them. Having taken her other hand from Miroku's robe for a second to grab onto his waist for a steadier hold, she was taken off-guard by Kirara's sudden leap and slipped off her back, a startled cry escaping her lips.

"Kagome!" Miroku grabbed for her too late, watching in horror as the girl fell away from them. Luckily, her fall was stopped by a small landing in the side of the hill, hitting the dirt hard enough to knock the air from her lungs again.

Having heard the commotion, Inuyasha was not far behind her, sighing in relief when her fall was abruptly stopped. Sliding down to where she lay, he caught the small moan that escaped her lips and winced, finally reaching her side and checking her over. After making sure she had nothing broken, he carefully lifted her into his arms and cursed softly at the sound of cloth tearing.

"What was that?"

Shifting her in his arms, he frowned and cried out at the loss of their provisions, watching helplessly as the items that had been in her backpack tumbled from the newly opened gash in the front. Kagome moaned again and explained, "There was a bush... I fell on it."

Feeling her back throb from the places the twigs had collided with it, she frowned and silently prayed they wouldn't cause her any more bruises. Just what I need, more black and blue markings on my skin.

With an annoyed growl, Inuyasha pulled her close and jumped up to where the others waited for them, making it there in three easy bounds. Carefully setting her down on her feet, he kept his arm on her back to make sure she was ok, releasing her after her whispered thanks.

"Feh"

"Kagome are you ok? You scared the wits out of us!" Miroku checked her over for any injuries. Noticing the slight flinch she gave when he touched her back.

"I think I'll be fine Miroku, I just hope the weather clears out soon," Kagome sighed and dropped her empty bag on the floor. "It got a tear when Inuyasha lifted me and all the stuff in it fell out. Everything's at the bottom of the hill or somewhere nearby."

"We don't have any stuff?" Shippo whimpered, small stomach grubling loudly, "But its almost lunch time and I'm- I'm hungry!"

"She nearly fell down the mountain and all you can think is you're hungry?" Inuyasha shook his head at the kit and stomped away, shaking water from him once again in the deeper part of the cavern.

Miroku heard the shifting of clothing behind him and kept his eyes on Kagome, for once giving Sango no cause for worry while she removed her soaked clothes, donning her tight taijiya suit that remained dry thanks to the other layers she'd been wearing.

The poor thing's soaked

Seeing the girl before him cross her arms in order to keep her trembling to a minimum, Miroku removed the wettest layer of his clothes, the heavy koromo, and set it to aside to dry. Untying the shitahimo at his waist, he removed the kuri-bakama beneath it, leaving him garbed in just the simple white kosode and habaki.

"Ano... what are you doing Miroku?" Kagome asked, blushing at the sight of the monk in his underclothes. Although she'd seen him before, it was different to see him actually removing his clothes in front of her.

With a gentle smile, Miroku held out the bakama and shitahimo, "You'll need something to wear ne-? Your clothes were in the bag and you cannot remain in that soaked outfit."

"Oh," feeling another shiver run through her, Kagome accepted the clothes and smiled back, "Thanks, but umm..."

"I'll turn around of course," giving a playful wink, he promptly turned away and moved to the front of the cave to stare out at the rain. "If I may suggest, I would ask Sango-sama to hold up the koromo and use it to cover you from other prying eyes."

"Feh, like I'd really watch lecher," Inuyasha stomped past her and stood beside Miroku, arms crossed angrily inside his sleeves.

With a small shrug, Kagome began changing, wincing a bit due to the soreness in her body and stopping once her shirt was off and she heard Sango's startled gasp. "Kami-sama! You're black and blue!"

Scrunching up her nose, Kagome nodded, slipping the bakama on and quickly tying it with the shitahimo. Once the garment was set, she slid off her shoes, socks, and pants, frowning down at the lower part of her legs that were left uncovered. There were bruises along them too, and she was loathe to let the others see how badly she'd been hurt, but there was unfortunately no way of covering it.

Slipping down to sit against the wall, she crossed her arms over her legs, using the sleeves to hide her ankles before calling out softly, "I'm done."

Having tensed when Sango made her surprised observation, both Miroku and Inuyasha turned to scrutinize her closely, frowning a bit by her covering up everything. Shippo, who'd been surprised into silence by the view of her body minutes earlier, rubbed his growling stomach and sighed.

"Get me my bag Shippo," Kagome ordered quietly, taking the item from him and looking over the damage closely. Seeing that the pockets hadn't been ripped, she opened one to find her pencils and school items, and was relieved when the other held a new packet of beef jerky. Opening it easily, she counted the pieces and handed them out to everyone.

"Its not much, but this should keep us for a while until the rain lets out," she whispered sadly, inspecting the bag some more and realizing it was definitely past repair. It has lasted me forever after all, I knew I'd need a new one, but I'd hoped it wouldn't be this soon.

Having emptied out the pockets, she tossed it to a spot in the middle of the cavern and sighed, "Kirara could you set that on fire?"

With a soft mewl, Kirara was about to do as asked when Sango stopped her, "You're going to burn it? Kagome-chan the bag can be sewn!"

"No it can't, its too thick and old, the part that was ripped had already been worn too thin," Kagome shrugged, "I was expecting to get a new one soon anyways, don't worry about it."

"But what about your stuff? We can find it after the rain's gone," Shippo piped in, rubbing his tummy when it growled again, despite the food he'd gotten, he was still hungry.

Of course, he's a growing kit and he's always eaten more than a human kid his age does Kagome held out her arms tucked him close between her body and her legs, explaining that the things would probably be lost or ruined by the time they were found.

"Go ahead Kirara, it can at least provide us some warmth," she urged the cat to go on, watching as she finally did as told and lit the bag aflame.

"I'm still hungry," Shippo whimpered, resting his chin on her knees and feeling the warmth of her body and the small fire soothe his shivering. When a piece of meat was slipped into his hand, he turned to see Kagome smiling and giving him a small nod. I guess she must have found some more in the packet!

"Enjoy the warmth while it lasts you guys, I don't think it will be too long," curling a little bit more, Kagome closed her eyes and yawned, resting her head on her upper arm. Granted, it wasn't the most comfortable position to be in, but it kept her sore back from the bumpy wall and her body close to Shippo's, sharing what little warmth she could give him.

Sango settled down next to Kirara who'd detransformed long enough to go and shake off the water in the back as Inuyasha had done before coming back and transforming again so her mistress could have a comfortable place to rest. Inuyasha watched Kagome shiver and was about to give her his haori when Miroku sat beside her, saying nothing but keeping close enough to share his warmth.

To his annoyance, Kagome had him scoot closer and rested her head against his arm, not complaining but rather giving a small smile when he pulled back and draped it over her shoulders. Keeping her arms around her legs, she tilted a bit to lean against him and rest her cheek comfortably on his chest.

They sat in silence for a while, each lost in their thoughts while the backpack finally burned on, leaving a scarce few scortched zippers and clips in its place. Kagome slipped Shippo her last piece of jerky and listened to his munching, moving a little to compensate when he turned in her arms and curled up, facing her and the monk.

"Kagome?"

"Hmm?" Keeping her eyes closed, Kagome waited for him to continue.

"Ano... what are you thinkin' about?" Shippo asked quietly.

"Besides the cold?" Kagome opened her eyes and looked down at him, "I don't know, a lot of things really, but at the same time, nothing specific."

"Oh... ok..." Shippo waited another while before asking again, "Kagome?"

"Yes?"

"Since when do you let Miroku get so close to you? He might try something," Shippo gulped at the glare that earned him and gave a sheepish grin.

"Since I know he won't," Kagome giggled softly, arms slipping from around her legs up to hold the kitsune in her lap closer. "Besides, I've learned he makes a great pillow."

"Are you saying I'm overweight Kagome?" Miroku looked down at the sleepy girl by his side.

"Of course not," Kagome sighed and wiggled closer, still shivering from cold, "You're just comfortable and warm, although not warm enough to stop my shivers but still... this is nice."

"I think so too," Miroku whispered, feeling her jump when a loud roll of thunder sounded outside the shelter. "It looks as though this could take a while."

"Feh, just what we need," Inuyasha stomped over to the front of the cave, sitting cross-legged there and staring out at the rain. Anything to keep me from ripping apart the damned houshi...

Curling his hands in his haori, Inuyasha listened while they quieted down, glancing at them momentarily to see Kagome curl closer to Miroku, a violent shiver running through her small frame. Shippo was dry and warm in her lap, the monk seemed to be unfazed by the weather, having endured worse in his travels, and Sango lay curled beneath Kirara's big fluffy tail, seeming on the verge of sleep.

She'll never get any rest if she doesn't warm up, and she definitely needs it Remembering Kagome's constant tossing and turning from the night before, Inuyasha sighed and stood, quietly handing the monk his haori before turning back and sitting down to watch the rain again.

"Kagome sit up a little," Miroku instructed, draping the nearly dry material around her.

"That's nice," Kagome whispered sleepily, snuggling into the warmth around her, eyes closed and feeling half asleep.

"Hey Kagome?" Shippo whispered, "What was that song you were humming before?"

"Hmm?" Kagome blinked, closing her eyes again with a small frown. Not now Shippo, just let me sleep.

"It sounded nice," Shippo waited expectantly for her to sing it for him, knowing she would if he presed her enough.

Kagome held back and annoyed groan and racked her brain for something to sing, she'd already learned it was the best way to get him to sleep when he was fidgety like now. When she finally found a song, she sang softly and with a sweet tenderness in her voice despite her frustration.When she finished the song with a little sigh, she leaned back and gasped when a rock jutting from the wall touched her sore back.

"Daijobu Kagome?" Miroku moved his arm away to see what had happened, having been on the verge of sleep also.

"Hai, I just leaned against the hard wall and my back's really sore," Kagome sighed and stretched carefully so as not to wake the sleeping kit on her lap. "I'm kind of uncomfortable but it hurts to lean against the bumpy rocks."

"I see," Miroku frowned a bit, unsure of how to solve the situation without getting beaten over the head by the already tense hanyou at the entrance. Despite the fact that she had seemed non-plussed by his proximity and the possibility of being groped by him, Inuyasha was still watching closely for any suspicious movements. "I could put my arm against it and have you lean on it."

"Thanks, but its my lower back that's achy too," Kagome yawned, wincing when another roll of thuner outside sounded. "It doesn't matter I guess."

"You hardly slept last night," Miroku hesitated for a moment before speaking again, "I think I might have a way for you to be able to rest against something more comfortable."

"Anything," Kagome smiled, "I'll lean against Sesshomaru's yucky toad thing if I have to, my back's really killing me."

"Nothing so drastic I assure you," Miroku chuckled, "And I promise to keep my hands where they belong as well."

Wondering what that could mean, Kagome's eyes widened when she felt herself being lifted a little and settled into his lap, her sore back fitting snugly against his warm chest. With her legs still lifted, she felt one of his slip to cover her bare feet and the other lift at her side, creating a comfortable arm rest. "Relax"

The soft command brought her from her surprised state and she did as told, melting against him with a small smile, "Thank you."

Miroku nodded, feeling her rest her head beneath his chin, tipping his head to rest his cheek against her damp hair. Any time Kagome

Waiting for their breathing to even out in sleep, Inuyasha turned to see how they'd settled in, heart lurching at the picture they presented. Snuggled into the monk's lap, with his arms resting comfortably around her small figure, Kagome's contented smile was warm and happy, a far cry from the sad look she'd had all day. Miroku also seemed quite content with his lot, not that Inuyasha could blame him with the beautiful girl resting so guilessly in his arms.

Damn it! She shouldn't be so trusting with that lecher! Hands fisting at his sides, he turned abruptly away, thinking back to the last person he'd held so carefully in his arms. Kikyo was never so trusting though, she allowed me to give her short hugs, but my demon half repulsed her.

Glancing back one more time, he noticed her wearing is haori and was calmed by that fact. If she'd been really angry she wouldn't have accepted it, he knew from previous experiences how stubborn she could get when angered. I'll figure this out Kagome - whatever I did - it couldn't have been too bad

Focusing again on the view outside their shelter, Inuyasha frowned and leaned forward, squinting at the figure floating above the trees in the horizon. It looks like... but it can't be...

"What is it Inuyasha?" Sango asked, soft voice groggy with sleep.

"She's nearby," he called back, realizing the taijiya was watching both him and the couple across from her.

"She?" Sango blinked at the couple sleeping so comfortably in front of her, hardly listening to the hanyou until a key word reached her ears.

"Kikyo"

* * *

Replies to Reviewers:

Kat14 - Aren't they? I love all three of them, Inu, Kog, Mir.

mari333 - Took me a while but finally an update!

princess of the blue moon - sorry, took long to update, I know.

eddie4 - It will, I promise, I don't like sad fics.

Chiisai-tori - I liked doing te Kag/Kog scenes, but I also really like Mir/Kag and of course the classic I/K... I dunno, perhaps I'll change the original pairing. I'm plotting this out over the weekend.

Gloria Underhill - I don't like tragedies, believe me, I cry too easily.

Kate - Wow, I was amazed with your review. (It was pretty long) I'm sorry for Inu's treatment, things should be looking up for the hanyou soon, if a bit slowly.

TeaRStrEak - Thanks for the correction! I got 'gaishou' from the EVA Japanese/Eng. online dictionary so I guess their archive made a mistake. I know Geisha's weren't whores as is believed. I haven't gotten to it, but I will edit that correction in soon. Thanks again!

Anime Nienna - I know, but without those key parts, there'd be no story. Hands a piece of cheese over

Mystic Hanyou - Sorry for the wait, things will be getting better for him soon enough.

me - Me too, how can one not love the Inu/Kag/Kog triangle? There's just so many possibilities! And sorry for the wait, I know, it took forever. This isn't what I originally wrote either but my files were all deleted. kicks old computer

Meeko - Thanks! Don't worry, I might take a while, but I definitely plan on finishing all the fics I've got going.

Cougiecat - Another interesting review (really, I didn't know about the red string and stuff) I can see what you meant about them being somewhat out of character, Kikyo especially I imagine when she kissed him in chapter 1. I wasn't too sure about that either, but I plan on putting her back into what I feel is her true character soon enough. (At least I hope, feel free to correct me later on again, I really do like constructive criticism - and I'll go back and change Kazaana too)

Kazaana - Thanks! I'll go back and fix that, I promise!

Orianna-san-InuKagLuva - Thanks! I hope this update was worth the wait.

SilverStarWing - Ok, how does this look? Perhaps a bit better?

UPDATE UPDATE -

getting mad - When do I update? As often as possible to be honest. Unfortunately, things get in the way sometimes and make one take longer.

* * *

If there's anyone I missed - sorry and thanks for reviewing! I just wanted to get this out as soon as I could!

Sorry again to everyone for the wait, I had this almost finished and then my computer lost all its files because of a virus and then I got writer's block for a while. I'm planning out the rest of the story and starting the next chapter as soon as possible so the next update won't take as long as this did.

Until next time!


	7. Howls

Author's Notes: Sorry for the long update time. I'll explain more at the end.  
  
" " Speaking  
[ ] Thoughts  
  
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[Damnit of all the places she could be, she had to be here]  
  
Inuyasha watched another of her soul-gatherers float by and clentched his fists. He knew he shouldn't go, Kagome would be hurt again and he didn't want to do that to her, he'd already hurt her enough recently. [Even though I don't know how] But Kikyo might have come to see him, she was heading towards Kaede's village it seemed, maybe she was in trouble?  
  
Staring blankly ahead, Inuyasha failed to notice the thunder rolling ominously or Sango getting up behind him. He shouldn't, he knew he shouldn't... but he had to. For some reason he couldn't not go see her, it was always that way with Kikyo.  
  
"Inuyasha?" Sango's voice was hesitant, hoping he'd use some sense and stay this time. "How can you be sure?"  
  
"I just saw one of her soul stealers," he pointed in the direction it had gone. "She's heading towards Kaede's village, which means there's probably trouble."  
  
[Isn't there always when she gets involved?] Watching him for a few minutes, she looked over at the couple curled together by the wall and frowned a little. Kagome didn't seem the least bit worried over Miroku's hands groping her, she looked quite warm actually and comfortable. For his part, the monk didn't seem to mind their position either. [Not like he would]  
  
Hearing Inuyasha move, she was surprised to see him scoot over and rest against the wall across from Kagome and Miroku. "You're not going?"  
  
"Feh," giving a small shrug, he frowned and rolled his eyes, "Its fucking raining and Kagome's got my haori, I'm not going anywhere until it stops."  
  
"Won't that make it worse?" Sango sighed and moved back to Kirara, shivering from the cold.  
  
Giving a low growl, Inuyasha stared out into the rain, ignoring her question. [Its not like she won't figure it out, Kagome knows the only reasons I leave are the new moon and Kikyo] Not wanting to think of what her reaction might be, he settled in for a light nap, knowing by the sounds of things that this might take a while.  
  
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And of course, as if to make him angrier, the rain took a full day to stop. They had no food, no blankets, a damp shelter, and a hyper kitsune to entertain. Kagome played with him and told him stories, but wasn't able to calm him when he got hungry. They were all equally starved, but what child ever thinks of that? Thus he spent the day whining about his hunger every so often.  
  
"Will you shut up already? We heard you! You're hungry! But guess what? So are we!"  
  
"You don't need to yell Inuyasha, he's just a baby and he's starving, there's nothing for him to eat and nothing else for him to do," Kagome pulled Shippo into her arms and rubbed his stomach tenderly.  
  
"Feh, whatever wench, I think the rain's finally dying down," Looking out of the cave's entrance, Inuyasha was relieved to see he was right, the rain had slowed and was nearly gone. Without a word to the others, he jumped out of the entrance and dissapeared into the forest.  
  
"He left his haori," Kagome looked down at the ground and gulped, thankful again that she'd crashed into the bush the day before and Inuyasha had been able to save her.   
  
"He'll be back for it," Sango shrugged and glanced back to her pet. "Kirara could you get us down there?"  
  
With a mewl, the cat demon transformed and kneeled for them to climb on. Once they were all set, she carefully exited the cave and flew them in the direction Inuyasha had taken, following his scent into the forest. Mere minutes after they'd begun their trip, their companion came back and surprised them.  
  
"There's a fairly large village not far from here, I'll catch up with you there later."  
  
Removing his haori, Kagome held it out to him and turned her head away, refusing to meet his eyes despite his attempts to glance into hers. [She must be nearby if he's leaving again] Fighting down the tears threatening to spill, she held onto Shippo tightly and bit her lip to hold in her sobs.  
  
Sango and Miroku shook their heads, the latter slipping off Kirara's back to speak to Inuyasha privately. "You should not go to her Inuyasha, especially not now after all that's happened."   
  
"I know that but she's heading for Kaede's village which means she's in trouble," Inuyasha glanced over at the girl avoiding eye contact with him. "I promised to protect her from any more trouble and..."  
  
"And what of Kagome? You promised to protect her as well but the only thing you've managed to do is hurt her." Miroku argued, "I cannot tell you why but if you go to Kikyo now it will crush her Inuyasha. Kagome's always lived in Kikyo's shadow when it comes to you, you always put the dead one first."   
  
Inuyasha tensed, "Watch it monk."  
  
But Miroku was in no mood to watch it, "No! YOU watch it, watch HER, damnit Inuyasha I know what I'm saying. If you go now Kagome will never get over the pain of other night, it will only add to her troubles."  
  
"Feh, you're overreacting Miroku, she knows how things stand between us. I've been to see Kikyo at least four times without hearing anything from Kagome," Inuyasha crossed his arms and turned away, "The village is not far, you should be there soon enough, just head west. I'll be back as soon as I see what's up."  
  
"Ready Houshi-sama?" Sango called out, eager to get going already.  
  
"Damnit Inuyasha, she doesn't deserve this," Miroku glared one last time before sliding into his seat once again behind Kagome.   
  
"All right Kirara, let's go," Sango sighed and shook her head at the hanyou before they left.  
  
[They're wrong, Kagome knows everything about me and Kikyo, she understands why I have to go] Watching them leave, he hoped she'd look at him but she kept her face turned away. Shippo glanced back and also shook his head at him, making Inuyasha growl in frustration at the annoying kit before heading for Kaede's village.  
  
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"Kagome daijobu? You've been awfully quiet," Shippo snuggled into her arms for warmth, looking up into her saddened features, "Inuyasha's a baka, you shouldn't be sad about him."  
  
"Calling a person a baka isn't nice Shippo," Kagome sighed, "I'm fine, don't worry about it."  
  
"He wasn't kidding when he said it was a large village," Sango interrupted while Kirara landed and they climbed off.   
  
"Wow its like the size of a small city," Kagome smiled for the first time since they'd split up, eyes bright with curiosity. "I wonder where we are?"  
  
"This is a city, we're in Edo," Miroku pointed at the guards at the walls and front gate.   
  
"I've never been to Edo," Sango mused, "Odd since its really not that far from Kaede's village.  
  
"Edo?" Kagome gaped, "I'm home!"  
  
"I thought you said you were from the future?" Shippo frowned in confusion.  
  
"I am, but in the future I live in Edo," Kagome beamed, "Only they changed the name by my time so we call it Tokyo, but its the same place."  
  
"Tokyo? That's strange," Miroku shrugged and led the way down the small slope towards the city gates. "I've been here before, I know someone who could give us shelter for the night."  
  
"Sounds great," Kagome yawned, stomach growling from hunger. "Think we should stop somewhere to eat first?"  
  
Shippo's eyes lit up, "Yeah!"  
  
Miroku however, shook his head and came back towards them, "That would not be wise, Shippo-chan you must make yourself as unnoticable as possible. People here do not like youkai, be they full-grown or children. Come here and I can hide you under my kesa."  
  
"That's awful," Kagome frowned, handing the kit over and watching Miroku hide him under the purple material.  
  
"But understandable if you think about it," Sango carried Kirara and tucked one of her tails out of sight. "Youkai have often attacked their city and tried to destroy it. They have reason to be wary even if they aren't going to harm them."  
  
"I guess," Kagome followed Miroku to the city gates.   
  
To the girls' surprise, one of the guards knew Miroku and after a few minutes of cheerful banter they were allowed in without trouble. Inside the city walls, smalls homes and shops lined the streets. Kagome looked around in awe, having seen paintings of these times and surprised by how accurate people in her own time were about the layout and way of life.  
  
Most shops were closed since it was dark out, but a few still had their doors open and welcomed business. Miroku briefly pointed places out, frowning at the tension in the people around them. Having been there before, he was surprised by how nervous everyone seemed to be. [What could be going on?]  
  
A group of samurai crossing a street ahead made him stop and frown. [Samurai? In Edo? What could the meaning of this be?]  
  
"Kenji lives just a few streets ahead, we'll be there shortly," Miroku moved closer to the girls, both of them also looking ahead at the samurai.  
  
[Samurai? Why are there warriors here?] Searching through her memory for any historic events that might have occured during this time, Kagome was forced to stop abruptly when a small boy came crashing out of a doorway and fell directly in front of her.  
  
Opening her mouth to ask if he was all right, she was stopped short again by a group of men following the boy out, one kicking him furthur into the street. With a yelp, the trembling boy moved until he kneeled in the center of the street where anyone walking past would see.   
  
The leader of the men, a powerful looking samurai with a fierce expression on his face shouted out to the people staring, "This boy dares disobey and attack Tokugawa-sama, for that he is to be punished with ten lashes."  
  
Kagome gasped, glancing at her equally troubled friends beside her. Stepping around the men to get a better view, she felt fury well within her at the men's cruelty. The boy looked no older than her brother Souta and they were going to whip him?  
  
When the man lifted his hand for the first stroke, Kagome surprised everyone including herself by rushing forward and draping her body over his small frame. "NO!"  
  
The soldier froze, glaring down at the girl, "Woman, this is no affair of yours unless the child is of your family."  
  
"He's not but you can't whip a child!" Kagome raised her eyes to glare back at him, "I thought samurai held to a strict code of honor? What honor is there in whipping a helpless boy?"  
  
"Helpless? The boy attempted to stab Tokugawa-sama!" The man roared, "Since you obviously know nothing of this matter you will move away."  
  
"No!" Kagome shook her head, glaring up at him defiantly, "I'm not going anywhere!"  
  
"Kagome don't!" Sango struggled against the samurai who had moved to block their path. The other girl had already gotten past them, one more and they'd be in lots of trouble with Matsudaira.  
  
Growling in rage, the man again swung back his arm, the whip held menacingly above him, "Move or recieve the lashes in his stead."  
  
Kagome heard the boy whisper for her to leave but shook her head, tightening her hold on him. Gasping as the whip cracked once on the ground beside her, the sound sent a shiver of fear through her but her resolve stayed firm. Seeing that had been her final warning, Kagome bent over the boy and tensed, waiting the first blow.  
  
To Sango and Miroku's horror, they were unable to do anything but watch as the strap lashed into their friend's back. Hearing her small cry of pain, they screamed and struggled against the men holding them back, taking four each to be held in place. As they watched in morbid fascination, the whip struck a second time and then a third. With each blow a new slash was cut into her kimono, another gasp was heard, and worst of all the whip came away with more blood.   
  
Having felt only a slight sting with the first blow, Kagome managed to reign in her cry of pain and give only a gasp, but each blow following it steadily broke down her strength. By the sixth blow, she could feel the blood on her back and her lip from where she'd bitten hard enough to break the skin. With the seventh she finally gave into the pain threatening to overwhelm her and screamed.  
  
The sound of raw agony was accompanied by a howl nearby, followed by another. Jumping in surprise at the sound, the samurai stopped and glanced up around him. Another howl joined the first two, followed by a another. Glancing down at the girl, he realized she'd stopped screaming and saw her body was being held up the boy, who'd been surprised when she fell into a dead faint. With the approaching of the howls, the men released her companions, turning to locate the sources of the sounds.  
  
Rushing to her side, Sango and Miroku gently took her from the boy and held her up, tears streaming down the taijiya's face at her friend's state. Forgetting any threat of danger to himself, Shippo had come out of Miroku's kesa and been held down by the monk, but his small face was equally drenched in tears at the sight of his mother's whipping.   
  
[She didn't do anything! Why won't they stop?] Ran through his mind as he'd watched the blows.  
  
When the howling was suddenly replaced by a fierce growling, Sango and Miroku looked up and were surprised to see they were surrounded by wolves. Fierce, wild, and deadly, the pack slowly surrounded the circle of men around them.  
  
Wondering briefly about the meaning of it, their doubts were soon cleared when a whirlwind rushed into the scene, stopping a few feet away from Matsudaira. Kouga stood tall and dangerous, glowering at the men as he demanded to know where Kagome was, Miroku's body blocking her from his view.  
  
"Who is this Kagome?" Matsudaira asked tremulously.  
  
"Kagome is MY woman and my pack has been watching over her since I had to leave her side. She is here and she has been injured, I can smell the blood." Kouga bared his fangs and claws, fury emanating from his being.  
  
It was her voice that broke the silence following his words, calling softly for him, "K-Kouga?"  
  
Finally noticing the taijiya and houshi, Kouga stepped around them and stopped cold at the sight. Kagome lay face-down, tears streaming down her cheeks just as blood soaked her clothes, long and deep lacerations cris-crossed along her back. Growling in rage, he stepped forward to crush the man holding the whip when she stopped him.  
  
"Please Kouga, tasukete," A small breeze flew by and caused a whimper of pain to escape her.  
  
Heart breaking at the sound, Kouga glared at the man but quickly turned and lifted her into his arms, being very careful of her back. A sob escaped her lips and she clung to him tightly, dreading even the smallest movement for fear it might pull at her wounds.   
  
Chest rumbling in a soft purr-like sound, Kouga focused on the houshi, "We need a place to tend to her."  
  
"I know a man," Miroku nodded and stood to lead the way.  
  
The men surrounding them moved out of the way, terror obvious in their faces and movements. Without another glance at them, Kouga motioned for Miroku to lead the way and absently growled an order to his pack as he left. The sound of screaming reached Kagome's ears and she managed to glance up at Kouga's stony expression.  
  
"Will they...?"  
  
"No one harms one of my pack like this and lives," Kouga replied darkly, "Especially not a female and even more so the alpha female of the pack. I did not order them to do it, my pack knows the law, they are merely following it."  
  
"What did you..."  
  
"I ordered them to return to the cave and wait for us there, but I knew they would not go until their task was finished and I did not make an effort to stop them." Kouga pulled her closer and carefully stepped over a ditch.  
  
"Why?"  
  
He sighed, "If you hadn't called for me I would have done it myself, but then I heard your voice and I knew it would disturb you to watch me kill the man. I allowed them to do me the favor, although they were all as eager to do it as I."  
  
"Really?" Kagome felt herself losing the struggle to stay awake and sighed, smiling at his next words before giving into the pain tugging her into unconsciousness.  
  
"Of course, you're family, any one of my pack would willingly die for you."  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Nearly and hour later:  
  
"What a brave girl"   
  
Kenji sat back and glanced over to the screen at the far end of the room. The taijiya had tended to her wounds and left the girl to rest, the wolf prince insisting on staying beside her.  
  
Having listened to Miroku's explanation of what occured, he glanced over at the boy and kitsune beside the fire, one gobbling down his second bowl of stew and the other nibbling on a chunk of bread. A sniffle brought his attention back to the couple before him and he smiled at the picture they made.  
  
Surprisingly his lecherous friend was acting quite chivalrously, having draped an arm around the distraught taijiya, he soothed her crying and moved to accomodate her better when she fell asleep, her head resting on his shoulder. The light in his eyes betrayed his emotions as he held her, showing of the deep feelings the houshi harbored for the girl. Knowing about his friend's incorrigible lechery, Kenji was glad to see he'd finally found someone to care for. He knew Miroku was a lot deeper than he appeared, however the weight of his curse lay heavily on him.  
  
"So the boy attempted to kill Tokugawa-sama? That was both extremely brave and foolish," Kenji watched the boy eat and shook his head sadly. "They just took over the castle, he must have had family in there or someone die in the struggle."  
  
"We'll find out tomorrow Kenji, now we need to rest, last night was difficult for us," Miroku carefully lifted Sango and lay her down on the futon laid out by Kenji for her. Thanking his friend again for his hopitality, he watched Kirara and Shippo lay down beside her and sighed at the kitsune's worried expression.  
  
"It'll be all right Shippo, you'll see, Kagome will be better after a full night's rest." Miroku ruffled his hair before lying down on his own futon, watching him nod and fall asleep.  
  
The boy took the bed offered by Kenji and thanked him also before drifting off. Moments later the two men were also soundly resting.   
  
The only one left awake in the hut was the wolf prince seated beside Kagome. Having waited for her wounds to be tended, he sat watching her and inwardly cursing Inuyasha again. [The bastard's dead! How dare he leave her again!]  
  
But then he knew the reason for it, his dead bitch must have shown up somewhere. It was just beyond Kouga why the dog would still follow after her if he knew she was nothing more than a mix of clay and bones. How could he leave someone as precious as Kagome for that? And damned if the girl wasn't loyal to the baka despite his own constant betrayals.  
  
[No more, Kagome will either come with me or I'll have to join their stupid quest] Kouga watched her back rise in a soft sigh and her head turn on the pillow. Moving to turn onto her side, Kagome gasped in pain and woke up suddenly, eyes wide and surprised when she saw him.  
  
"How long have you been there?" she whispered softly.  
  
"Since you were finished being bandaged," Kouga watched her wince and take a deep breath to ease the aching. "What are you trying to do?"  
  
"I can't sleep on my stomach unless I have something halfway beneath me like a body pillow," Kagome sighed again.  
  
Not knowing what a body pillow was, Kouga figured a body might suffice and moved from his sitting position to lay down. Gently so as not to jar her back, he helped her lift onto her side for a second, sliding into place beside her before pulling her to lie half over him.  
  
"Does that help?"  
  
Blushing, Kagome nodded, her cheek rubbing against the soft pelt covering his chest. Feeling him slide his arm beneath her so she lay coocooned against his side, she smiled as he carefully covered her with the blanket and placed a soft kiss to her forehead, ordering her to sleep.   
  
"Arigato Kouga"  
  
Moving her arm across his waist, she snuggled close to his warmth and closed her eyes, again feeling his chest rumbling soothingly beneath her ear, lulling her to sleep.  
  
Moments later, just as he was about to doze off himself, Kouga felt her leg drape over his and her head snuggled closer, resting just above his heart. He growled softly and was rewarded with her whispering his name in her sleep, a smile coming to his lips at the sound.  
  
[Hai Kagome, its about time... anata]  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"What do you mean she didn't come by here?" Inuyasha glared at the old miko standing in the doorway.  
  
"Just as I said Inuyasha, if Kikyo came this way she did not stop to ask about ye or Kagome," Kaede rubbed her good eye sleepily. "Where are Kagome-chan and the others? Ye left her after what's happened to look for my sister? Are ye daft?"  
  
"Kagome will be fine, she's in the big village with Miroku and Sango," Inuyasha yawned, watching Kaede's eye widen in surprise.  
  
"Ye left Kagome-chan in Edo? The walled village not far from here?!"  
  
He shrugged, "If that's what its called then yes you old hag, what's so wrong with that?"  
  
"Edo's Osaka castle was recently under siege! The shogun's son and his army are there, Kagome could be in great trouble!"  
  
"Feh, she's just a girl, how much trouble can she get into?" Seeing how the old woman would only keep scolding him if he stayed, Inuyasha turned and exited the hut, heading for the Goshinboku to take a nap before deciding what to do.  
  
"Mark my words Inuyasha, Kagome-chan has a knack for trouble, ye've seen the proof of it yourself after the other night! How could ye leave her to look for Kikyo? Will ye never realize how much ye hurt her with yer constant pursuit of that clay body floating about?" Kaede yelled after him.  
  
"Woman that clay body is your sister!" Inuyasha turned to glare.  
  
Kaede shook her head sadly, "My sister Kikyo died fifty years ago Inuyasha, that body might have part of her soul but it is not truly hers anymore. Ye must see the differences, she is no longer as she was, she is living off borrowed time."  
  
"Whatever," turning his back on her again, Inuyasha ignored the guilt of leaving Kagome behind again and dissapeared into the forest. [Kagome will forgive me, I know she will, and she'll be fine in that village, she has the others to watch out for her]  
  
A sudden howling pierced the night and he frowned, listening carefully as the wolves cried out for their leader. [Feh, that whimpy wolf, what the hell could they need him for?]  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Quick vocab: Tasukete= Help & anata= term of endearment or a couple's way of saying 'you'  
  
Ok I know this updte took forever, believe me I would have sent it in sooner but the previous version got erased and then I didn't want to rewrite it all and I ended up changing it a bit. I hope you all liked this and that it was worth the wait.  
  
I've got to run, let me know what you think - Inuyasha will meet with Kikyo and show up more in the next chapter I promise. See ya! 


	8. Confidences

_Lyrics_  
" " Speaking  
[ ] Thoughts  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Why am I not surprised to see you here Inuyasha?"  
  
Kikyo's cold voice woke him the next morning. Glancing down at the miko leaning against the trunk of the goshinboku, Inuyasha crossed his arms and jumped down.  
  
"Something the matter? Where's the girl? Don't tell me you've finally realized she can't replace me and decided to come with me to hell." Kikyo raised a brow, a look of cold amusement in her eyes.  
  
"Kagome's not here, I didn't come to go to hell with you either," Inuyasha growled, "I came to find out what the matter is."  
  
She frowned, "With me? Nothing is the matter, I was merely passing by. I stopped in Edo for a quick visit but all the fighting there made it dangerous for me to stay, too many people and especially samurais to see my soul-gatherers and get suspicious."  
  
"You didn't come here looking for me?" Inuyasha asked skeptically.  
  
"Should I have?" Kikyo tossed her hair over her shoulder and turned away, "My travels may cross paths with yours Inuyasha, but do not think it is always by design. Even I do not always know where to find you."  
  
"You mean I left the others for no reason?" Inuyasha growled in annoyance, realizing by her smirk just how foolish he'd been. "Feh, its not like they need me right now anyways, what could happen in that stupid walled village?"  
  
"You left them in Edo?" Kikyo stopped in her tracks, having moved away to leave again. "That is not just a village Inuyasha, its a large city and there are many dangers, even for humans. Especially for young girls I would say."  
  
Inuyasha frowned, a sinking feeling coming over him, "Why for young girls?"  
  
"The castle there was just raided in the past few days, the whole place is swarming with samurai, didn't you hear me say there were too many people there? Think about it though, a city with about four times as many men as there are women."  
  
"Well shit"  
  
Turning away from Kikyo, Inuysasha stomped towards the city. [I'm sure Kagome's fine! She's just trying to freak me out.]  
  
"Take care with the wolves Inuyasha!"  
  
Kikyo's voice stopped him short, glancing over his shoulder suspiciously, "Wolves?"  
  
"Surely you heard them last night? Sounded like trouble," Kikyo shrugged, "It came from Edo or somewhere close to there."  
  
"Damnit!"  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"What is that?"  
  
Kouga looked over Sango's shoulder while she cooked, sniffing the vapors from the pot, he frowned and crinkled his nose. "What are you doing?! That meat's not supposed to be boiled! It takes away the flavor and nutrients!"  
  
"Kagome likes it like this," Sango grit her teeth and added the carrots, "Perhaps you should go check on her? I think she might need a rest from Shippo's attentions, and her bandages need to be changed. I assume you know how to do that?"  
  
"Of course I do!" Leaving the girl to continue ruining the fresh meat Ginta had brought earlier that day, Kouga walked across the room and stepped behind the screen that gave the resting girl some privacy.  
  
Stopping short, he moved back and peeked in, observing with a smile the interaction between the kitsune and human. Kagome lay propped up on her side with some pillows by her stomach to help give support. Cradled on top of the one beside her chest, Shippo rested in a light doze, his head on her neck.  
  
With her arms wrapped around his small body, Kagome kept her eyes closed as well, a soft smile on her lips while she hummed a tune. One hand keeping the kitsune's body tucked close, the other idly stroked down his back, along his arm, down his leg and over his fluffy tail. When her humming died down, Shippo yawned and nuzzled her neck, asking quietly for a lullaby.  
  
"A lullaby?"  
  
"Something nice, like the other day." Shippo whispered, "Something just for me."  
  
"Hmm... give me a moment," Kagome hummed for a few more minutes, her voice soothing and warm when she sang.  
  
_You and me together we'll be  
Forever you'll see  
We two can be good company  
You and me  
  
Yes together   
We - two  
Together that's - you  
Forever with - me  
We'll always be good company  
You and me  
  
Just wait and see_  
  
Giving a content sigh as she finished, Shippo slipped into a deep sleep. When Kagome tucked the blanket at her waist up around them both, she inadvertedly left Kouga only the view of Shippo's tail outside of it, making it easy for him to picture her holding a wolf pup instead. Smiling wider at the thought, Kouga conjured up three more, one curled in the crook of her bent legs, the other resting its head on her knees, its body pressed into the dip along her stomach, and the last and oldest with its back against hers in a protective position.  
  
Yes, he could easily picture their children, strong young boys with hair as black as his and eyes the same honey-brown color as hers. A girl, with Kagome's long lashes, pouty pink lips and Kouga's deep blue eyes.  
  
[Kami, our children will be beautiful]  
  
Listening to her humming again, Kouga dropped down and stealthily made his way over, silencing her surprised gasp with a finger over her lips when he lay down beside her. Carefully sliding an arm under her head for her to rest on, he was glad to see her smile and hold Shippo closer when he moved the pillows out from between them  
  
Tucking the kitsune close with one arm, she draped the free one over his chest, snuggling close when his hand around her waist pulled her closer. She shouldn't do it, she knew she shouldn't, but she was so tired of worrying over everyone else, it was nice to have someone who cared this much.   
  
She'd felt she could die the day before as she'd handed over Inuyasha's haori. After the other night, when he'd been so distressed over the possibility that he might have hurt her, she'd thought there might be some hope for her cause. But then barely two days later, Kikyo showed up and he left again, taken his coat and run to her.  
  
"Why?"  
  
The word slipped from her mouth before she could think, Kouga's tensing beside her making her bite her lip.   
  
"Why what?"  
  
"Nothing, just... thinking," Kagome hoped he wouldn't press her further.  
  
It was not to be.  
  
"Why what Kagome? If it has to do with dog-turd, go ahead and ask." Kouga sighed and pulled her closer, "I know how your relationship is with him, you love him and he loves the pot of clay. You watch over him, protect him, risk your life for him and he still runs to her every chance he gets."  
  
[Much like us... like me... you're exactly like me]   
  
Kouga closed his eyes against that truth. He understood her, probably better than anyone else, because he was just like Kagome. He couldn't leave his pack, but he protected her every chance he got. He set up a guard after that last attack, had a wolf watching over her for any trouble. How he worried late at night while she was off with the mutt. For her safety, for her happiness, mainly for the baka to realize what he had beside him and give her what she most wanted. All he wanted was her, beside him, loving him... and she wanted Inuyasha.  
  
Kagome nodded, breaking him from his thoughts, giving a big yawn before falling asleep, her voice whispering one last thing before she nodded off. "I just wonder... will I ever be good enough?"  
  
Wanting to console her, but annoyed by the very fact that she'd brought him up, Kouga answered with the only thing he could think of at the moment.  
  
"Will I?"  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"No"  
  
Sango and Miroku shook their heads, Shippo and Kirara repeating their actions. No way was Kagome leaving their group.   
  
"We can take better care of her, we have great provisions at Kaede-sama's hut, we just need to wait for Inuyasha to come back and we'll go there." Sango insisted.  
  
Kouga glared, "My pack is excellent at tending to its wounded, Kagome needs rest, she won't be able to travel for a while and dog-turd will only make things worse. Let her come with me and my pack, she'll recover, get some time away to clear her thoughts and join you later."  
  
"And have Inuyasha kill us?" Sango replied.  
  
The wolf prince snarled, baring his fangs, pleased to see her eyes widen, "Would you prefer I do it?"  
  
"Kouga!"  
  
Kagome startled them, shouting through the screen, "Someone move the stupid thing out of the way so I can see you!"  
  
Doing as told, Miroku stood and moved the item, smiling in relief at the sight of her face with some color again. His smile did not last long however, after she'd finished speaking again.  
  
"Don't you dare harm a hair on her head mister! Not you nor one of your pack," Kagome yawned and winced at a tug in her back. "And you guys, I agree with Kouga."  
  
"Nani?" Shippo squeaked, shocked at her words.  
  
"I need some time to think about things, my back needs to mend, and to be completely honest I don't want to see Inuyasha right now."  
  
"But Kagome..."  
  
"If that is what you want, we'll explain to Inuyasha," Miroku cut off Sango's protests, understanding better than anyone else why Kagome needed time away from the hanyou.  
  
"You choose to come with me?" Kouga asked quietly.  
  
Kagome blushed, "If its ok, I just need some time..."  
  
"Its fine! Its more than fine," Kouga beamed. "Ginta says there's trouble near the main cave, but you won't be there, the women and cubs have been taken to a safer location. You can stay with them."  
  
"That'd be great," Kagome sighed, "My back is killing me. What happened to the boy? Miroku where's your friend?"  
  
"Kenji has taken his new apprentice to his shop," Miroku explained. "When will you be leaving?"  
  
"I have to get to my pack as soon as possible," Kouga frowned, looking down at Kagome. "But I can't move too quickly if I carry you the way I did the other night."  
  
"Carry me on your back," Kagome lifted herself onto her elbows, "I should be ok."  
  
"Kagome are you sure about this?" Sango asked again, "Don't you want any of us to come with you?"  
  
"Kagome?" Shippo sniffled.  
  
"Oh Shippo," Kagome's eyes saddened.  
  
Kouga spoke then, "He can come."  
  
Their eyes lit up, "Really?!"  
  
"He's your pup, my pack will accept him as such," Kouga shrugged, "Even if he is a kitsune."  
  
"Thank you!" Kagome beamed, the joy in her eyes bringing a warm smile to his features. "We can leave today if you need to."  
  
"You're not well enough to travel," Sango reminded her.  
  
"Just bandage me up tight, I'll be fine," Kagome insisted, "Inuyasha will doubtless show up tonight or early tomorrow, I want to be gone."  
  
After a moment's hesitation, Sango gave up finally and sighed, "Fine, but you're going to owe us big time for the yelling we'll have to put up with Kagome-chan."  
  
"Ignore the baka," Kouga instructed easily.  
  
Barely over an hour later, Kagome was lifted onto Kouga's back by Sango and Miroku, careful of her freshly bandaged wounds. After thanking them and tucking Shippo close between her stomach and Kouga, they were off, leaving an angry and slightly hurt taijiya behind with the houshi.  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Damnit I can smell the damned wolf, he's been here all right, he'd just better not have touched Kagome!"  
  
Inuyasha growled, running faster, following the smells of wolf to a small hut. Stopping and smelling the air outside, he was growling even more as he picked up both Kagome and Kouga's scents. They had just been there, he could hear Sango and Miroku's voices and growled again when Sango yelled at the houshi for letting Kagome go with Kouga.  
  
"Why? There's something going on Miroku! Something you and Kagome didn't tell us about!" Sango was pissed, almost as much as Inuyasha.  
  
He was about to step inside and demand some answers himself, but stopped when Miroku answered.  
  
"She couldn't tell you in front of Inuyasha! I promised not to tell Sango, he has to figure out what he did on his own." Miroku tried to explain.  
  
"And what about me? I don't get to know this big secret?! Why did she tell you?" Sango snapped, hurt obvious in her tone.  
  
Miroku sighed, his voice calmer now that he realized what was bothering her. "Because she needed someone to talk to, I think just getting things off her chest helped. I was the one out the other night, so I was the one she spoke to. There hasn't been any chance for the two of you to talk without being overheard by Inuyasha, has there?"  
  
"Well no," Sango agreed, "Could you tell me? You know I won't say anything to him but I'm so worried Miroku. What could he have done? She's been avoiding him since we left, things are not right and it seems I'm the only one who doesn't completely know why."  
  
"Inuysha doesn't know either," Miroku sighed, Inuyasha could practically see the glare that earned him. "All right, but you cannot speak to even Kagome about this, understood? If she tells you later on you must be able to feign surprise."  
  
"Of course," Sango agreed.  
  
Miroku hesitated a moment but finally spoke, "The night Inuyasha got drunk, you remember Kagome went to bed early?"  
  
"Hai"  
  
"Apparently Inuyasha was very drunk, and he entered your room by mistake," Miroku hesitated but eventually continued, "Kagome took a bath in your room, she had just dried herself off and was settling down on her futon when he came in."  
  
"He didn't!" Sango immediately jumped to conclusions.  
  
Inuyasha froze, silently shaking his head in denial.   
  
[Tell me I didn't!]  
  
"He didn't rape her," Miroku rushed to assure Sango, "In fact, well, Kagome was quite pleased with the way things went."  
  
Inuyasha let out the breath he hadn't known he was holding, relief flooding him at the knowledge that he hadn't raped her.  
  
"Until he called out Kikyo's name."  
  
Sango's gasp was horrified, Inuyasha froze yet again.  
  
"He wouldn't!" Sango whispered, so softly that even Inuyasha barely heard.  
  
"He did," Miroku's voice was both sorrowful and angry, "He made love to her, he even told her he loved her, he called her anata and then, after... he called out to Kikyo."  
  
"Kami..." The scent of tears reached Inuyasha and he realized Sango was crying, "If there's anything that could break her heart it would definitely be Kikyo."  
  
Miroku moved, probably to comfort the girl, "I can hardly fathom it, he was holding her, had her wrapped in his arms, having just taken her innocence, and he called out for that clay pot."  
  
Sango sniffled, "Poor Kagome... no wonder she left with Kouga... at least she knows he loves her."  
  
"Hai, Kouga really loves her," Miroku agreed.   
  
Outside the hut, a stunned and horrified Inuyasha turned away, racing numbly from the city.   
  
[It can't be! That night... I dreamed of her... it was just a dream ...it HAD to be a dream!]  
  
Memories of the morning after, his nakedness, the scent of her tears in the air, assaulted him all at once. Stopping at the top of a tree, he gasped for air, slumping against the trunk. He could remember vaguely, her soft body beneath his, whispering aishiteru, the soft cries she'd made, but they had been part of his dream.  
  
"Damnit it was just a dream!"  
  
He growled, slashed a branch nearby off the tree and sighed, "It had to have been a dream."  
  
[Kagome wouldn't sleep with me just like that... but then why else would she cry?]  
  
He remembered her words from the other night and knew with a sinking feeling that it was true.   
  
"But you did hurt me, Inuyasha, you hurt me in the worst way possible... and you don't even remember."   
  
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Shorter chapter, but effective ne-?  
  
Let me know what you think. Also I'm again, hesitating about the outcome of this story, I've slowly fallen in love with the wolf youkai, but I also love the hanyou. Oh the possibilities, I'm thinking that a couple more chapters might do it for this story.  
  
Vote now for your favorite!  
  
Arigato to all my reviewers! You guys are the best. I can't believe this story's gotten over 100 reviews! WAI!

You guys are the best!

Ja matta!


	9. Apologies

" " Speaking

[ ] Thoughts

* * *

"Are you ok Kagome?"  
  
Shippo shifted closer, snuggling into her warmth beneath the soft fur pelts. They'd been with Kouga and his tribe for a day and he had refused to leave her side, which was difficult because she'd slept most of the time. Her back was healing, slowly, the wounds deep and painful. It would take at least a week of bedrest, and another week of extreme caution before she was healed. Unfortunately, there would be a scar or two left.  
  
She shook her head and feeling overly warm, tossed the fur off them. It was odd, because the night was cold and the rest of the women were covered completely. Looking into his mother's face, Shippo saw her flushed cheeks and gulped, raising a paw to touch one. It was just as he feared, something was wrong, she was too hot to the touch.  
  
He'd thought she was overly warm earlier, but blamed it on the fur. How long she'd been feverish, he couldn't tell, but he glared at the women who were supposed to be tending to her. They'd been all smiles and kindness as long as Kouga was there, but they were jealous of the girl and left her be once the wolf prince was gone. Now he'd have to go get Kouga, there was no way he was asking one of these females to help Kagome.  
  
Slipping out of her bedding and from the cave carefully, he sniffed around for Kouga's scent, found it easily enough, and followed it towards the main cave.  
  
How long he followed it he couldn't be sure, but by the time he arrived at the wolf prince's side the kitsune was more than winded, he was exhausted and terrified with worry for his Kagome.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Kouga asked, a frown marring his features at the sight of him.  
  
"Kagome's... - pant - ... sick... - wheeze - ... fever..."  
  
A squeek followed his short announcement as the wolf grabbed him by the tail and sped off to the cave where the women were resting. They arrived moments later, the kitsune cursing his abilities to run so fast under his breath.  
  
Kouga skidded to a halt and dropped to his knees beside Kagome, dropping Shippo to touch the miko. It didn't take a genious to realize what had occured. Despite their care, one of her lashes, if not more, had become infected.  
  
She had a very high fever, her skin burning Kouga's hand when he touched her. At the feel of his cold hand, she whimpered and flinched.  
  
"How long has she been unattended?" Kouga growled, asking the kitsune, furious with the she-wolves behind him.  
  
"All day since you left," Shippo gulped, "One of them gave her some meat but it wasn't cooked and she can't eat it raw, that was before nightfall so there were no fires built. I made a small fire and cooked it for her, but I don't know how long she's had the fever."  
  
"Damnit!"  
  
Lifting her carefully into his arms, Kouga stood and carried her our of the cave, growling angrily at any of the females that tried to come close. Turning at the door, he barked out a threat that had them quivering in their beds while he rushed off with the girl towards the main cave.  
  
Reaching it quickly enough, Kouga set her down on his own bedding and called for Ginta. His friend was already coming over and seeing the flush on the girl's cheeks, quickly realized the problem and called for cold water.  
  
"How long?"  
  
"I don't know, she wasn't like this when I left," Kouga removed her clothes and the bandages, inspecting the lacerations across her back. Thankfully there was only one that seemed to be infected, unfortunately, it was amongst the largest and deepest.  
  
"She'll be ok won't she?" Shippo asked, whimpering when she gave a soft mewl and her body began to curl up, only to cause her to cry out again from the pulling on her back. With a sob, she shook her head, seemingly caught in a nightmare.  
  
Sending Ginta for the supplies he would need, Kouga tried to soothe her, sitting by her side and shushing her but she wouldn't stop. Then suddenly she was talking, non-sense to someone who wasn't there.  
  
"How could you?"  
  
He frowned but tried to calm her, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."  
  
[What didn't who mean?] Kouga listened and watched while she shook her head and accused him again in that small, wounded voice.  
  
"You did! You meant it!"  
  
With a look at the equally confused kitsune, he lay beside her and touched her cheek, "I'm sure I didn't."  
  
Kagome sobbed, tears slipping from her eyes, "Yes you did, you used me."  
  
Shaking his head, Kouga saw Ginta coming along with Hakkaku and felt relief at the sight of them. Pushing her hair furthur from her back, he felt the heat from her body and shivered.  
  
Looking lovingly down at the girl before him, he smoothed a hand down her side and froze at the next words that came from her lips, the barest hint of a whisper, hardly loud enough to be heard.  
  
"You made me think you loved me," Kagome sobbed, "But you were making love to her using my body."  
  
Certainly loud enough to cause a great deal of pain though.  
  
"But I'm not Kikyo..."

* * *

In a tree at the opposite end of the forest, Inuyasha racked his mind for details of the night he'd gotten drunk. Vaguely he started picking up on some flashes of memory. He remembered stumbling into the dark room and dropping down beside a woman. She was wearing some white material and calling his name.  
  
Then he'd been over her, kissing, caressing, tasting. He remembered her crying his name, her hands on his body, and the words he'd said. Suddenly he remembered almost everything, including the fact that he'd thought he was dreaming, and in the dream he'd been with Kagome when Kikyo showed up. He'd confessed his love to Kagome but he hadn't called to her like he did to Kikyo, he'd never said her name.  
  
"Kuso!"  
  
Putting the pieces together, he ran a hand through his hair and sighed, wondering how the hell he was supposed to explain to Kagome.  
  
She thought he'd used her, of course she did, it was the logical conclusion for her to jump to. But he hadn't even realized... hadn't known.  
  
Hadn't she smelled the sake on his breath? Tasted it during their kisses?  
  
Obviously not, but damn, how did one explain when the proof was so - well... obviously against him?  
  
After all the times he'd left them to see Kikyo, could he blame her for not wanting to see him?  
  
Hell, he'd left her just days after her ordeal with the hunters! After using her and hearing she'd been raped, he still left to see Kikyo. What kind of an idiot would do that?!  
  
A frightened idiot.  
  
One who'd been hurt so many times he didn't want to open himself up again. One who'd struggled against his feelings for the girl because he wasn't free to be with her. He didn't even deserve her. But damnit he'd said he loved her and he'd meant it, even if she didn't know that.  
  
And now she was with Kouga, the whimpy wolf who'd never been anything but good and caring. Sango and Miroku had said so themselves, at least she knew he loved her.  
  
[How in the world can I expect to win her back?]  
  
Knowing she'd probably gone with Kouga to have some time to herself, he decided to take a few days to figure out what to do. After all they'd been through, there was no way he'd give her up now.

* * *

"Drink this Kagome, you need to drink plenty of water," Kouga held the water to her lips.  
  
It had been six days since her fever had set, after two hellish days of wiping her down, covering her up, wiping her down again, the fever finally broke. She was so weak though, it was difficult to believe the girl in front of him traveled for miles at a time all over Japan with her friends. Her lacerations had also suffered a setback during her fever, a couple re-opening while she tossed and turned. She'd been in and out of sleep for four days now, thankfully her sleep had been peaceful enough to allow them to heal. She would be able to move about soon.  
  
Shippo came over then, having helped bring water and herbs quite a bit over the past days. Seeing the kit's loyalty to the girl, Kouga realized he'd have to accept the child if she became his mate. Of course he would take in the kitsune, but some of his wolves might have a problem with it. From the way they'd behaved, it was obvious none of the females would accept either the human or the kitsune any time soon.  
  
[And what was all that she kept saying about not being Kikyo? About being used?]  
  
He didn't like the sound of it - it was obviously something to do with Inuyasha.  
  
Although he wanted to know what it meant, something told him the news would not be good. He loved Kagome, more than he'd thought he could, but during her travels with Inuyasha things could have happened between them. If she had slept with dog-turd, he wasn't sure he could accept it, and his men definitely wouldn't accept her. A human was bad enough, but a loose one would never be tolerated - he'd lose their respect and with that would go his leadership.  
  
[She's MY woman! She knows that and she wouldn't betray me!]  
  
But she had never spoken the words and accepted being his woman, she'd always allowed Inuyasha to argue and say it wasn't true. And there was the mutt's other woman to consider as well. Kagome looked so much like Kikyo, it wouldn't have taken much for the hanyou to confuse them. What if he HAD used her?  
  
"Kouga!"  
  
One of his wolfs came over, panting from exertion, "My lord they have attacked our other den, somehow they found the females and we must go to them now!"  
  
"You hear that you mutts?! Get your asses back to the females and pups! The she-wolves can only protect them for so long!" Kouga rose to his feet and looking around, found Ginta coming over from another part of the cave. "Ginta you will stay here."  
  
Ginta looked down at the sleeping girl, "You wish me to protect her?"  
  
"Hai," Kouga stepped nearer the wolf, "I trust both you and Hakkaku with my own life, no one else is as loyal to myself and my mate. She trusts you as well."  
  
Ginta nodded, realizing he spoke the truth, his woman was afraid of the other wolves and would not be at ease with anyone other than one of them. Hakkaku had had been restless these past days, he'd be better off fighting. "I'll take good care of her."  
  
Kouga nodded, and with one last glance was gone, easily catching up to and surpassing his pack.  
  
With a sigh, Ginta sat beside the girl and watched her sleep, keeping his senses on alert for any sign of attack. Not ten minutes had passed before she woke, stirring a little on the bedding. The kitsune lay asleep beside her and she gave him a smile, kissing him on the forehead. Glancing around at the empty cave, she spotted Ginta and smiled at him, "Hey, where are Kouga and the others?"  
  
"There was an attack on the other cave," Ginta noticed her swallow thickly and handed her a cup of cool water.  
  
"Thank you," drinking it slowly, she saw his questioning gaze and frowned a little, "How long have I been sleeping Ginta?"  
  
"Days," he admitted, "You were burning with fever, Kouga had to be careful of your wounds while wiping you down."  
  
Realizing suddenly that she was naked beneath the furs, Kagome blushed and pulled them closer, wincing when it made them touch her back.  
  
"You were speaking in your fever," Ginta hesitated, knowing he shouldn't interfere in Kouga's private affairs, but needing to know. "You accused him of using you, and spoke of not being the dead miko Kikyo."  
  
"Oh kami," Kagome moaned, burying her head in the pelts, "Did I say any other names?"  
  
"No, but you spoke enough to give away the meaning behind the words," Ginta saw her wince and waited for an explanation.  
  
"I don't want to talk about it," Kagome finally spoke, much to his annoyance. "How much did Kouga hear?"  
  
"He heard it all, more so than I since he never left your side," the wolf stood then, shaking his head at the woman. "It has been difficult for the others in the pack to accept his choice to take you as his mate. They do not like the idea of a weak human joining our tribe, but he swayed them, claiming you are strong and loyal as any she-wolf. If they found out this was untrue, it could easily be his downfall as the pack's leader."  
  
"What do you want me to do?" Kagome asked  
  
"Speak the truth to him, even if he gets hurt, it will be better if he gets over you soon and finds a suitable female." Ginta smelled her tears and sighed, "I am sorry to be so cold sister, truly, Hakkaku and I wished for you to be with our prince, but if your heart has been claimed by another, it would be unkind to keep him hoping for more. We would not hate you if you were honest, nor would Kouga I know, he would forgive you most likely, and leave you be."  
  
"I never wanted to hurt him," Kagome sniffled, "I do care deeply for Kouga, but not in the way a mate should. I don't love him romantically and I can't imagine joining the wolf tribe. Most of them scare me to be honest, they can be so rough, and the women hate me."  
  
"You have to let him know all this," Ginta moved away, smelling a familiar scent in the air. "The hanyou is nearby."  
  
"I have to face him too," Kagome wiped her eyes, "But he doesn't even know."  
  
"Should I allow him to come? Kouga will recognize his scent when he returns," Ginta warned her.  
  
Biting her lip, Kagome was mulling it over when the decision was made for her, Shippo's voice speaking in her place. "Let him in, its about time they settled things."  
  
Getting up from his place next to her, he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before joining Ginta on his way out. When Inuyasha appeared at the cave's entryway, they walked past him and explained they'd be nearby in case of trouble.  
  
"Inuyasha?"  
  
Shippo stopped before him, "I just remembered her bandages need changing."  
  
"Bandages?" Inuyasha sniffed, picking up the scent of Kagome's blood, sweat, and tears, mixed with the scent of wolf. "What the fuck happened to her?"  
  
"You'll see," Shippo answered, "Be careful Inuyasha, have you figured out what you did?"  
  
"Hai, I know," Inuyasha nodded, "Do you?"  
  
"We have an idea," Shippo sighed, "So does Kouga."  
  
"Forget about him, I'm here to see Kagome," Inuyasha turned away then, heading inside and to the place where he could hear her light sniffling. When he reached her bed, he stopped and stared down at her, shocked to see she lay naked beneath the wolf's furs.  
  
"Kagome?"  
  
She raised her head, glancing over her bare shoulder at the stunned hanyou, "Inuyasha."  
  
Unsure of what to say, he slowly moved closer and knelt beside her, noticing the white peeking out from beneath the furs. "You're injured?"  
  
Kagome nodded, "I was whipped."  
  
"Whipped?" Inuyasha gawked, removing the pelt over her back and carefully cutting off the bandages wrapped around her. Looking down at the marks on her back, he saw most were healing already and closing up, only two looking deep enough to leave a scar. Hesitantly reaching out, he touched one of the nearly healed ones with a clawed nail and frowned.  
  
"How did this happen?"  
  
"There was a boy in Edo, he was thrown out of a tavern in front of us and a samurai was going to whip him." Kagome looked down at her hands, "He was no older than Souta and I just jumped over him without thinking."  
  
Inuyasha sighed, knowing how likely it was that she would do that, "You took a whipping for a complete stranger?"  
  
"He was so little!" Kagome looked up while she defended herself, "Would you take a whipping if Shippo were involved?"  
  
Speaking with his usual bluntness, he shook his head, "No."  
  
Kagome gasped, "But he's just a baby!"  
  
"A baby who could learn from a good beating," Inuyasha snapped. "No one took the blows in my stead, why should I do it for anyone else? If the runt did something that merited a whipping, then he should get it so he'll learn his lesson. This time isn't safe and comfortable like yours Kagome, the kid has to toughen up if he's going to make it. Coddling him will only do more harm in the long run."  
  
After a moment's tense silence, Kagome lay her head down on her crossed arms, "That explains a lot you know, about why you're so gruff with people. Its all you've ever known since your mother's death when you were little."  
  
"Yeah, poor me," Inuyasha chuckled darkly, "We're not here to talk about my past or the merits of whipping Shippo."  
  
"What are you here to talk about?" Kagome asked quietly, relieved when he began re-bandaging her back. As his silence went on, she knew he'd come to talk about that night. "You remember don't you?"  
  
"Hai"  
  
Waiting a few moments in silence, she felt him finishing on her back and sighed, "Inuyasha, as much as I'd love to say its fine, I can't this time, you have no idea..."  
  
"I didn't use you"  
  
Kagome blinked, "What?"  
  
"I didn't use you."  
  
Inuyasha watched her frown and shake her head, her voice a bit shaky as she spoke.  
  
"Kikyo's dead Inuyasha, you made love to ME and called for HER..."  
  
"No, you don't understand." Dropping down onto his stomach in front of her, Inuyasha watched her rest her chin on her arms and blink away tears. "I though it was a dream Kagome."  
  
"A dream?" Kagome gaped, speaking after a moment, "How could that be a dream?"  
  
"Easily enough!" Inuyasha ran a hand through his hair and sighed, "I've been dreaming of you for months Kagome, I even thought you'd caught me a few times."  
  
Shaking her head, Kagome glared, "You keep calling for Kikyo in your dreams, I've heard you! You apologize for what happened and beg her to take you back!"  
  
"That's how they start," He admitted, "That's how the dreams usually start at least, I'm with Kikyo and she's alive again and we're getting over our past."  
  
Seeing her flinch and turn away, he grabbed her chin and turned her head towards him, "But then we're getting married and she's standing with her back to me, dressed in a beautiful red kimono with her hair piled high atop her head. All of a sudden she'll turn and the woman in the kimono isn't Kikyo after all, but a girl with soft wavy hair flowing down her back, and bright brown eyes sparkling happily in a way hers never did."  
  
"But..."  
  
"I can't call your name, in the dream, because when I'm about to you're gone and I'm left alone, standing between the well and the goshinboku." Inuyasha released her chin, "I can't move in either direction and I usually wake up then."  
  
"Even in your dreams she haunts you," Kagome mumbled.  
  
"So do YOU!"  
  
Inuyasha insisted, "Only with you its worse because I have to wake up and keep a safe distance from you."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I don't want to hurt you," he admitted, "I know it doesn't seem that way, that all I wind up doing is exactly that, but I've never wanted to. All I've ever wanted is to keep you safe, both from myself and my enemies. I've sworn to go to hell with Kikyo, so I push you away to hopefully keep you from getting hurt when I go. But you've haunted my dreams more and more often as this quest has continued."  
  
"When you want to go back to your time, I don't get mad because you need to re-stock, or go to that school, or see your family. I get nervous and scared that you won't be able to come back, and I vent that anxiety in the only way I know how." Inuyasha looked down at the floor between them.  
  
"By getting angry," Kagome said, shocked by this turn of events. Inuyasha never opened up to her. Why was he saying all this?  
  
"That night..."  
  
"It couldn't have been a dream," Kagome insisted.  
  
Inuyasha nodded, "Yes it could have, in my drunken mind it could have. I'd seen Kikyo earlier, we didn't say much actually, didn't even speak. She just turned and left, and I was confused and annoyed so I went back to the village and got drunk."  
  
"I didn't realize it," Kagome whispered, "You didn't smell of sake."  
  
"I was a wreck," Inuyasha blushed, "I've never drunk much, so I can't hold my liquor very well."  
  
"I was in the tavern and there was a girl there, with long black hair like yours, and she was all over this one guy." Inuyasha frowned a bit, having just remembered that, "I changed things up in my mind, and suddenly I was watching you and me instead of the couple."  
  
Kagome blushed, waiting for him to continue with his explanation.  
  
"When I blinked, they were themselves again and I knew I'd had too much to drink. So I made my way back to our rooms. I accidentally went into the house from another direction and took a wrong turn." Inuyasha took a moment, getting to the difficult part to explain.  
  
"When I stumbled over to the futon and looked down, there you were, all soft and warm, looking extremely enticing with the small yukata on." Hearing her gulp, he looked up into her eyes and looked away from her nearly naked form again quickly, focusing on the wall behind her.  
  
"I remember thinking it must be a dream, because there she was, the girl who'd been tormenting me for countless days and nights. I'd dreamed of us being together, I'll admit it, and suddenly there you were again - it just made sense that this was another dream."  
  
"You've had those kinds of dreams about me?" Kagome asked with a blush.  
  
Nodding, he kept his gaze averted from her, "They become especially difficult to ignore when your body goes into heat each month."  
  
"Oh my," Kagome wondered how to deal with that.  
  
"And your scent, not just the scent of your jasmine soap and strawberry shampoo, but your natural scent, that tangy fragrance that's yours alone. It was enhanced somehow, or maybe I just felt that way, but I remember dropping down and shushing your protests with a kiss. I didn't want anything to wake me, so I tried to keep you quiet for as long as I could."  
  
Kagome nodded, remembering him cutting her off that way, her body warming at the memory of his lips on hers. Seeing his eyes glance at her in surprise, she realized he could smell the change in her and looked away, fighting down her blush.  
  
Taking her right hand, Inuyasha raised it between them and brought it up to his lips, kissing each finger tip gently. When she turned to see what he was doing, he caught her gaze with his and silently bade her not to look away.  
  
His voice was gruff but sincere when he spoke, "I meant what I said and did Kagome, every last word, you have to believe me about that. I've been hurt so many times, I've been afraid to open up and let anyone in, but you made me do it, even without my knowing... and I fell in love with you long ago."  
  
"But then why...?" Kagome's throat tightened as her eyes shimmered with tears.  
  
"Why call out her name and not mine?"  
  
Squeezing her hand, Inuyasha hesitated to answer, "Because I did fall asleep afterwords and she showed up just then, after you and I lay curled together out beneath the goshinboku in my dream. It was like the time she kissed me with you watching, only this time she was held in place and you were with me. Her eyes weren't cold like they normally are, they were burning with rage and hurt. When I saw her I froze like I normally do with you, and did the only thing that ever comes to mind when I'm in those situations. I spoke her name."  
  
Mulling things over for a few minutes, Kagome could think of nothing to answer. After all, how could she know it was true after all the times he'd acted so harshly against her?  
  
Looking into his troubled eyes, she saw the truth there, the insecurity in those golden orbs was so blatant she knew it had to be true. Inuyasha couldn't fake that, he wasn't built that way, and he was looking at her with the terrified look one would give the hangman holding onto the noose.  
  
He really did think it was a dream that night.  
  
"You love me?"  
  
"I know I shouldn't," Inuyasha looked down shamefully, "It just snuck up on me little by little, no matter how hard I tried to push you away, you kept coming back. Finally I realized, I was terrified of pushing you away anymore, because what if this time you didn't?"  
  
"But then again, if I let you come close you'd be hurt, by me and my enemies, and worse," Inuyasha took a huge breath of air before admitting. "I was afraid of the power you have over me Kagome. Afraid you'd be like the few others I had let myself love... and leave me like they did."  
  
Feeling her tears slip from her eyes, Kagome saw the anguish in his orbs and struggled with how to react. She loved him, of course she did, even after the heartbreak he'd put her through. She'd promised to stay beside him despite of his oath to Kikyo because of that love. His harshness had hurt her so many times, but she understood that deep down he cared, even if just a little.  
  
She'd figured he was insecure about his feelings for her when he'd look at her warmly one minute, only to push her away the next. Hearing him admit all of this was such a milestone though. What was she to do?  
  
She should be ecstatic, he'd confessed he loved her. He loved her!  
  
So why did she still hurt so badly?  
  
Because now she was the one who was scared.  
  
"Kagome?"  
  
Lowering her head onto her hands for a moment, she fought back sobs and finally got herself together enough to look at him again.  
  
"Its too much Inuyasha, you went from leaving me for Kikyo one day, to showing up and professing your love for me the next. I need some time to sort things out, get myself together again."  
  
"You're saying you want me to leave?" Inuyasha sat up, not surprised by her answer, "I came too late didn't I? Are you in love with the wolf?"  
  
"I'm... confused," Kagome looked up at him, "I don't know what to think Inuyasha, I believe you and I want to give you an answer, but there's Kouga to consider too. I'll admit that I'm fond of him, very much so, but I'm not certain about anything right now."  
  
"Kagome..."  
  
"What are you doing here mutt?!"  
  
Kouga's booming voice echoed in the cave, startling the two who'd been so absorbed in their conversation, that not even Inuyasha's enhanced senses warned him of his arrival.  
  
Pulling the largest fur around herself, Kagome heistantly sat up, wincing at the pull in her cuts but managing to get herself upright for the first time in days. "Inuyasha came to see how I was doing Kouga, we were just having a conversation that was long overdue."  
  
"I'm leaving wolf," Inuyasha stood, eyes locked on Kagome as he rose to his feet. "I'll pick up Sango and Miroku from the city and we'll be at Kaede's until you're feeling better and decide... you know."  
  
"Sounds fine," Kagome nodded, eyes focused on the floor while he left.  
  
Kouga growled as the hanyou walked by, but for once Inuyasha didn't growl in return. Rather he was focused on the girl sitting quietly on the furs and avoiding his gaze.  
  
[Kami don't let it be too late... I can't lose Kagome too...]

* * *

-  
  
Dun, dun, dun!  
  
Yes, he's come out into the open, but now she's the one who's scared of getting hurt again.  
  
Thanks a bunch you guys for all the reviews! I'm honestly, really suprised by how many this story has gotten. Just warning, I know this might seem sudden, but there is only one chapter left in this story. Yes, you read correctly, the next chapter will be THE END!  
  
I'll explain next time, I'm already editing it, but I promise it'll be long.  
  
Until next time! 


	10. Conclusions

" " Speaking

(- Thoughts -)

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(- He looks so tense -)

Kagome watched Kouga's back as he stood looking towards the entrance to the cave. He hadn't turned around since Inuyasha left, nor had he spoken or even moved for that matter. He remained in the same spot, hands fisted at his hips, legs spread in that fighter's stance he always got into when the hanyou was around.

(- What is he thinking? -)

The same question ran through the wolf's mind while he stood there, listening to the mutt's footsteps receding in the forest. When he was finally sure he was far enough, he allowed himself to turn and inwardly flinched at the look on Kagome's features.

Sitting up weakly, she was pale and drawn, her eyes glossy and expressive as always. Sorrow, hurt, longing, regret, all shown in her chocolate brown orbs, each troubling in its own sense.

"What did he want?"

"To explain things," Kagome whispered, dreading the conversation that was to come. "G-Ginta said I was talking in my sleep."

Silently nodding, Kouga came to her bedding, dropping down to sit cross-legged before her. Finding himself dreading this conversation as well, he knew there was no choice, they'd have to get it over with.

"I don't know where to begin..."

His hand covered her mouth then, head turning to where the other wolves were arriving. They'd defeated the bear clan easily thanks to his shards, although there were still some that were seriously injured. Feeling her lashes touch his thumb, he glanced back to see her drooping forwards slightly to ease the pain from her back.

"We'll talk later, you should lie down now."

Helping her back into bed, Kouga shook his head when she tried to speak, hugging her close for a moment before getting up and going to check on his pack. Exhausted by the highly emotional time she'd had, Kagome allowed her eyes to close and sank into a deep, relaxing sleep.

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"We need to talk"

"We need to talk"

Kagome and Kouga froze, a brief smile appearing on their features for a second before they became serious again. Signaling for her to go first, Kouga crossed his arms and waited.

"Can we do it somewhere private?" Kagome glanced around at the wolves surrounding them. Shippo lay sleeping peacefully beside Ginta, whom he'd grown quite attached to in the time they'd been there.

It had taken over two weeks of bed rest for her back to completely heal, days spent playing with the kitsune, sleeping, joking with Ginta and Hakkaku, or awkwardly with Kouga. Obviously she'd spoken more than enough in those days during her fever and the time had come for their talk. Inuyasha's visit hadn't been mentioned by either of them, although it certainly added to their troubles.

After giving an order to Hakkaku, he lifted her into his arms and carried her out to the cave he'd taken her to the night of her attack. It was a relatively short journey thanks to his speed, but she knew any normal creature would take at least a few hours to get there, if not a full day.

Leaving her on the bedding, he lit the torches on the walls and started up a fire for warmth, bringing her a large fur to serve as a blanket when he saw her shiver. Taking his seat across from her, he waited a while for her to speak again and took her hand into his when he realized how badly she was struggling to get her ideas sorted out.

"You spoke quite a bit in your dreams," he began for her. "Sometimes the topic was silly, squabbles between Inuyasha and the kit, a joke or reprimand for the monk and his woman. But there was one conversation that was troubling and you kept repeating it."

With a small gulp, she bit her lip and motioned for him to continue.

"You were angry, hurt, and accusing," Kouga frowned, holding her hand a little tighter, "And you kept insisting you were not that woman."

"Kikyo" she whispered.

"Hai, the pot of clay and dead bones"

Closing her eyes while taking a deep breath, she decided to just get things over with and tell him the truth. "I wasn't raped by those humans."

Frowning, he waited, heart stopping for a second when her eyes opened and looked into his, tears swimming in them. "I wasn't just sneaking away while Inuyasha slept, I was running from him before he realized what had happened."

"What happened?"

When he released her hand and moved back, she sensed his emotional withdrawal too, but he deserved to know the truth. "We were traveling and stopped at a village to rest, excited when we realized there was a festival going on."

"Inuyasha had run into Kikyo and gone to speak with her, while the others and I settled in at the village and tried to ignore it. When they finished with their talk he came and joined with some of the local men, getting drunk on sake with them."

Kouga huffed, thinking only a lowly half-demon would drink the vile stuff. Must be from his human side.

Kagome hesitated a second, before meeting his gaze head on and continuing with the most difficult part of the story. "I went to bed early by myself and he went into the wrong room. He fell to his knees beside me on the futon and one thing led to another and... we slept together."

Flinching at the pain that statement caused, he listened with his eyes closed as her voice softened and she finished explaining. "He was holding me close afterwards when he ruined things by calling out her name."

When his eyes snapped open to look into hers, she saw the anger and shock in them and nodded, "He was my first and he called for her afterwards. That's why I was sneaking away while he slept... I couldn't bear to face him so I ran. I got a ride from Kirara and was knocked off her back when we were almost at the well... you know the rest."

Overwhelmed by the confirmation of his greatest fear, Kouga sat in silence, her words echoing over and over in his mind. (- We slept together... He was my first...-)

Shaking his head and wanting to howl with the pain of it, he stood and turned away, heading to the doorway of to get some cold air. Kagome followed, much to his dismay, her hands grabbing onto one of his arms as she came to his side.

"Kouga I'm so sorry! I never meant to hurt you! I didn't know it would..."

"You didn't know it would hurt me for you to sleep with the mutt?" Kouga snapped, glaring down at her, "How could you NOT know that? You knew you were my woman!"

Kagome shook her head, "No Kouga! Things were different back then! We weren't as close as we are now, and we'd never spent any time together or really known one another! I didn't take your words seriously!"

"You thought it was a joke?" he looked seriously offended, "Choosing a mate is no laughing matter Kagome. When a wolf claims his mate its for life, and I had claimed you, you knew that."

Sniffling, she continued to shake her head, "No matter, you were never there. How could I believe what you said when you were always away? When you were never around? You just showed up every so often, argued with Inuyasha over me and left to care for your pack. There was no relationship between us before now and you know it."

Understanding the truth in that, he gave a curt nod, "What about your relationship with Inuyasha?"

"It was rocky," she admitted, "Its always been rocky, we're both too stubborn and volatile, but deep down there's always been something."

Kouga's anger cooled a little, sadness replacing it, "Do you love him?"

It took her a little while, her hands still on his arm, her head resting on his shoulder, and when she finally answered her voice was soft and vulnerable as she admitted.

"I don't know"

Waiting a moment, he had to ask, "What did he want? That day when he came here, what did he say?"

"He didn't know," Kagome explained, "The morning after, he didn't know what he'd done, sometimes people forget the things they do when they're drunk, and he thought it was a dream."

"He couldn't smell anything when he woke up?"

"Apparently Sango woke him rather abruptly and they left as soon as they could. I talked to Miroku about it when I got back from my time and he recommended I let the both of you think it was the humans who..."

"Took your virtue"

Nodding, she squeezed his arm, "Kouga, I would never intentionally hurt you. I was in love with Inuyasha for a long time and that night he was finally opening up to me."

Thinking back to the sweetness of his touch and his voice, she blinked back her tears unsuccessfully, "I wanted him to love me so badly, I needed it, and he was finally there. When he kept whispering all those sweet words I was so happy and then he..."

"Stop"

Kagome did, realizing how much her words must hurt him and hating her habit of babbling when she was distraught. When he extricated his arm from her hold, she let him go, stepping back silently to the bedding where she sat down. Closing her eyes, she waited for him to say something but it never came.

Leaning against the wall behind her, she realized she'd fallen asleep when she was snapped out of it by the touch of his body wrapping around hers. Held tightly in his embrace, she felt the tension in him and clung to him tightly as well. With one of his hands gently running through her hair, she snuggled closer, anguished by the whole situation.

Her heartbreak the night she'd made love to Inuyasha.

Kouga's worries and care for her, here in this cave and at the other.

Inuyasha's explanation of his actions.

Kouga's pain now at her confessions.

"I love you."

Giving a small gasp, Kagome raised teary eyes to see his equally troubled features. The sadness, regret, and love mixed in them brought a knot to her chest, catching her throat in her lungs. Shaking her head, she tried to speak but was silenced by a touch on her mouth, his thumb outlining her lower lip.

"It's true, you can't make me take it back," Kouga whispered, gently pulling her closer with the arm wrapped around her shoulders, serving also as a pillow.

They lay face to face, bodies pressed together, their faces mere inches apart while he spoke. "I've loved you for a while now, and my leaving you with the mutt has haunted me for days each time I did it. I knew the risk of leaving you with him, just like I knew you probably didn't understand how serious I was when I claimed you as my woman."

"I'm not going to say I didn't see how things were between you. Each time I came your eyes lit up and you smiled, but it was never like the smiles you gave when he was around." Kouga sighed, nuzzling her cheek, taking in her sweet scent. "Kagome."

When she gave a small whimper and sniffled, he opened his eyes to meet with hers. The sadness in those icy blue orbs struck her almost like a physical blow and wanting nothing more than to wipe it away, she moved instinctively. Cupping his cheek in her right hand, she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. It was the briefest touch, just a soft, gentle caress meant to serve as a silent apology, and its meaning hit him clearly.

She loved him, but not the way he wanted her to.

With tears spilling from beneath her lashes, Kagome lowered her face to the crook of his neck, crying for all his pain, and hers, and the dreadful guilt that assailed her because she couldn't be what he needed. Nuzzling her hair, he held her and let her cry, taking the opportunity to savor this precious moment with her there. His heart ached at the thought, but even he couldn't deny the truth and he mentally forced himself to accept the parting that was soon to come.

But it hurt like the very devil and he could take advantage of these last moments at least, since they would have to last for the rest of his life. Taking in her scent, her softness, the taste of her lips and the feel of her soft chest and hips pressed against his.

Finally calming herself a little, Kagome kept her arms around him and her head where it was. She lay wanly and realized she needed him to know and understand. To his surprise, she pressed her lips to the base of his neck, where it met with his shoulder, and gave it a soft kiss.

Catching his breath, his body froze around her while she softly epxlained. "I love you too Kouga, I mean it with all my heart, I love you too."

Knowing he was about to reply, she moved back to where she could meet his gaze, touching his lips like he had. "But its a different kind of love than the one you deserve. I couldn't be a good mate for you, because my feelings aren't that type. In all this time you've cared for me, I have come to love you, but not as awife should."

"Please don't say any more," Kouga interrupted, brushing his lips over hers, "Even a wolf can dream, just... give me these last few hours before you go."

Swallowing past the lump that came to her throat again, Kagome nodded, closing her eyes when his lips lingered over her temple. Outside the cave, the gloomy day seemed to match their mood, as the rain that had been threatening all morning finally began to fall.

A bolt of lightning struck outside, causing her to jump and shiver in his arms. Feeling the wetness of her tears again, he inwardly cringed, moving away a little to sit up and pull the fur he'd given her earlier over them both. Taking her into his arms again, he gently kissed her eyelids, taking away the salty moisture there.

"No more tears Kagome"

Giving a nod, she managed to form a brave little smile, although her chin trembled a bit and her lashes sparkled with the droplets that hung on their tips. Rewarding her with his own smile, although a sad one, Kouga gave her cheek one last nuzzle, draped one leg over hers and growled low in his throat. The sound had the desired effect as Kagome gradually relaxed in his arms, her body melting against his until sleep finally overtook her.

(- If only...-)

Kouga silently watched while she slept, savoring these last moments with his woman. He knew well enough that morning would come too soon.

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Wakened by a kiss, Kagome blinked, smiling shyly when she realized she was still in his arms. With a gentle smile, Kouga explained that the rain had stopped early in the morning and that they should be going. After they'd gotten up from the bed and cleaned up a little, he lifted her into his arms bridal style and set out, surprising her when he headed in a direction different than the one they'd come from the day before.

"Where are we...?"

"Your village is this way," Kouga kept a steady pace, for once not running so their parting moment could be put off a little longer.

"But Shippo..."

"Has been taken to your friends, Ginta was to drop him off last night."

Relaxing again, Kagome rested her head on his shoulder, uncertain of what was to happen now. The trip didn't take long, despite his slowed pace, and he came to a stop not far from the village. When he set her down on her feet, she hesitated with her hands on his shoulders, afraid of what may come.

"Should you ever need anything, no matter what, you will always be welcomed by my tribe," Kouga whispered, his hands on her waist.

Both seemed reluctant to pull away, but he finally lifted one hand to raise her chin and look into her troubled eyes. "Take care of yourself. You're fighting some powerful evil and the mutt can't always be there."

"Kouga..."

"No tears," he reminded her, dabbing away an errant drop that escaped onto her eyelash, "This isn't good bye Kagome, I'll see you again."

"Will you...?"

"I'll be fine." His smile was brave, but his voice wavered the tiniest bit, betraying his emotions, "Eventually."

"I meant it," Kagome whispered, cupping his face in her hands as she met his eyes and gave him a smile, "I'll always care about you Kouga."

Sucking in a breath at the honesty in her expression, Kouga cupped her own face and gave a brave smile, "So will I Kagome."

Wrapping his arms around her, he lowered his head for one final kiss. Unlike the others he'd given her, which had been tender and chaste, this time he allowed himself to be bolder, if only this once. He couldn't have imagined how it would affect him, all of him, body, mind, and heart. He felt her awareness of his needs as he filled himself with her, savoring her taste and touch.

Finally he pulled back, and after giving her forehead a peck, silently turned and walked away. Kagome watched sadly, he'd been so brave for her, neither angry nor resentful when she'd told him the truth. She touched her lips where she could still feel his kiss and sighed, her whispered words reaching him as the wind carried them his way.

"See you later."

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"Hey mutt, get down from there!"

Kouga's demanding voice brought him out of the goshinboku immediately. Fighting back the urge to grab the wolf's neck and throttle him, Inuyasha growled.

"Where's Kagome?"

"Coming this way from the other side of the village," Kouga blocked his path when he moved to go to her.

Recognizing the scent of her all over the youkai, Inuyasha was growling louder, eyes boring angrily into the blue-eyed jerk's. "So what do you want? Is she just here for her stuff?"

"I wish." Kouga snapped, equally angry but aiming it all towards the hanyou instead of the girl. "I'm here to warn you mutt, if the only thing standing between you and Kagome is your clay pot, I'll kill her the next time she crosses my path."

Inuyasha growled but was silenced almost immediately, "Its time you got it into your head that the bitch is dead. Give her up and stop hurting Kagome. If you don't, and I hear she's cried over you again, I will take her back and make her mine, no matter what."

"Keh, if you feel so strongly why didn't you keep her now?" Inuyasha scowled.

Kouga scowled, hating to have to admit it to his biggest rival, "I'm not the one she wants."

When Inuyasha's eyes widened and began to brighten, he gave a low growl and grabbed the hanyou's collar. "But listen here you bastard. If you hurt her anymore, it won't matter how much she begs, I'll take her back and skin your scrawny hide, got that?"

"Yeah yeah," Inuyasha shoved him away, wincing inwardly at the sound of his haori ripping, "I got it, and believe me, I have no intention of hurting her again Kouga."

Surprised that he used his name, Kouga stepped back while he listened. Inuyasha was completely serious, that much was obvious by his tone and stance.

"I've told her how I feel, if I have to tell you too then fine, I'll tell you if it'll get you off my back. I happen to love the girl, all right? I've nearly died for her,saved her scrawny neck from attacks countless times, carried her around like a mule, been sat by her to the point of breaking my back, and none of it was for my own health."

Inuyasha crossed his arms, features set in a serious, grim expression, "I won't let anyone take her, not after I've finally come to grips with that fact and realized how much she means to me. If you want to take her, you'll have to kill me first."

"We don't need the dramatics just now," Kouga interrupted. "She chose you, despite the fact that I'm the better match, she's loyal, to both of us, but more so to you. Take care of her mutt."

With that he was off, sprinting away towards his den.

Relieved to have that over with, Inuyasha would have rushed to her side if it weren't for his damned insecurities. Could she really have chosen him over Kouga? After all he'd done?

What was he to say?

What would she do?

What would he have to do to make it up to her?

Walking absentmindedly until he reached the well, he was sitting on the edge of it when she came out from the forest to his right. Being caught up in his thoughts though, he missed it and hardly noticed her presence until she took a seat by his side.

Kagome watched quietly while he worried his lower lip, staring down at his feet rather pensively. Not wanting things to be awkward now that they both knew, she wondered how she could get his attention and keep things light. Finally noticing the way he wiggled his toes, she let out a chuckle that brought his head up.

"Missing something?" she teased.

His blank expression was matched by an eloquent, "Huh?"

Chuckling again, she pointed to his feet, "You were staring at them like something was wrong, I figured you must have lost a toe."

"Keh," smiling at her silly joke, he gave a shrug, "Just thinking."

"Hmm... that might be dangerous," Kagome frowned, "Wouldn't want you to hurt yourself."

"Witch"

"Jerk"

"Brat"

"Hmph"

Turning her head away, Kagome crossed her arms and stared out into the forest, surprised when she heard him move and felt his hands on her knees. Lowering her arms and looking down at the boy squatting before her, she gave a small gulp.

"What are you doing?"

Inuyasha shrugged, "I could ask you the same thing."

She nervously licked her lips but managed to shrug, "I have a job to do."

"So you came back for the quest?"

Hearing the slight hurt in his voice, Kagome hesitated a moment before raising a hand to one of the furry triangles atop his head and giving it a soft rub. "I came back to my friends and my obligations here."

Inuyasha held his breath, wondering at the implications of that, "Do you believe me?"

There was a long pause before she shook her head, "I can't say."

"I understand," he sighed, resting his chin on her knee, "Do you love me?"

"Yeah"

Her immediate reply pleased him, but he could hear the uncertainty in her voice. She wasn't ready to take things up where they'd left them, and he could understand that perfectly, they needed a clean slate.

"Could we try again? Like new?"

To his dismay, she shook her head again, "It's not so easy Inuyasha, I can't just forgive and forget. You know it too, you don't forget when you're hurt, no matter how badly you want to."

His heart sank at her words but he had to agree, his voice was a barely audible plea when he spoke, with little hope in his tone. "Can't you forgive?"

"I can promise to try," Kagome offered, watching him carefully.

When he nodded in agreement, she smiled as he stood, coming up to her own feet in front of him. Sensing the question lingering in the air when he gave a small sniff, she met his eyes easily.

"I spent the night with Kouga, in his own cave, sharing a blanket and in his arms, but we..."

"Didn't do anything, I know, he smelled like your tears and you just smell like him," Inuyasha saw her frown and explained. "He came to let me know what would happen if I hurt you anymore."

At that, Kagome giggled, "And what would that be?"

"He said he'd take you away and make you his," Inuyasha huffed. "As if he could."

"He could if I s- you," Kagome walked by his side with a bright smile on her face.

Crossing his arms angrily, Inuyasha glared, "And why would you do that?"

Kagome shrugged, "If you were going to hurt him, I would have to, he's my friend after all."

"Your friend?"

The words stopped him in his tracks, making her stop too.

Ignoring the look in his eyes, she gave a nod, "Yes, my friend, he's been an ally to us for some time, even if you do have petty squabbles."

"Petty!" Inuyasha growled, "We fight over _you_!"

"Flattering as that may be, I don't like seeing you argue with my friends," Kagome planted her hands on her hips, glaring back when he came face to face with her.

He stopped inches away and bent to look her in the eye, "Does that mean I'm not one of your friends?"

She raised an eyebrow, "Perhaps."

His eyes lowered dangerously, "Then what am I?"

"My..." Kagome drew out the silence, her scathing eyes burning into his for a moment before clearing and getting back their usual twinkle, "Puppy!"

Giving his nose a quick twitch, she turned and ran ahead to the village, her laughter ringing in his ears as he stood dumbfounded where she'd left him. "You are one crazy bitch Kagome."

Hurrying to catch up, he came barreling out of the forest just in time to crash into her and send the poor girl sprawling face-first into a gigantic puddle of mud. Kagome had been trying to avoid it when he carelessly ran into her back.

Finding herself kneeling, absolutely covered in the clumpy brown muck, she rolled onto her back to see him staring wide-eyed in horror at her state. Wiping her face casually with her hands, she gave him a suspiciously sweet smile.

"Inuyasha?"

Bracing himself for what was to come, he stayed where he was and gave a slightly squeaky,"Yeah?"

"It's so nice in here, why don't you sit boy..."

Slamming into the mud, he held his breath until the spell subsided, wiping his face with the back of his haori.

"And join me?" Kagome finished sweetly.

"Wench"

"Idiot"

"Oh an idiot am I?"

With a mock growl, he grabbed her around the waist and rolled her into the mud. They were slipping and sliding, rolling and laughing when Shippo's voice cut into their fun.

"How come you never let _me_ play in the mud Kagome?"

"Shippo!"

Kagome sat up, straddling Inuyasha, the handful of mud she was going to rub into his face still held high above her head. Looking up in horror at her friends, she saw the smirk on both Sango and Miroku's features and blushed beneath the mud covering her face.

"Kagome and Inuyasha are merely following a ritual Shippo-chan," Miroku picked up the kit. "An old courting ritual."

The girls gasped, Inuyasha growled, Kirara gave a mewl and Shippo frowned, "I don't remember seeing anyone else doing that."

"Its an inu-youkai tradition only," the houshi smoothly lied, "Looks like things are going quite well actually, we really should leave them to it."

Giving them both a wink and Inuyasha nod towards Kagome, he was bonked on the head for the comment and dragged away by Sango while the couple looked down. It seemed the kimono she was wearing had opened up to bare quite a bit of her chest. With an embarrased squeak, Kagome dropped the mud, closed the kimono and jumped off him.

"Hey! That got in my eyes!" Inuyasha roared, "Now they sting!"

"Serves you right for staring!" Kagome shouted, glaring when he stood and towered over her, blood-shot eyes in front of hers.

(- It does look like they hurt. -)

"Not like there's anything to see!"

"SIT!"

(- Damn -)

Face-down in the dirt again, Inuyasha listened to her as she stomped away, warning him not to come near the hot spring if he wanted to live past that day.

"You are helpless Inuyasha," Shippo sighed, "You know, you're lucky she loves you so much."

"You think so?" Inuyasha leaned up on his elbows, interested in the kit's opinion. He had just spent two weeks with Kagome and Kouga after all.

The solemn kitsune nodded, "She definitely loves you, even though Kouga's nicer to her."

"Yeah well, I can be nice," Inuyasha grumbled.

"Yeah right"

"I can too!"

Shippo crossed his arms, "Prove it!"

"All right I will," getting up out of the mud, Inuyasha stomped over to Kaede's hut, grabbed Kagome's bag with her bathing items, and made his way over to the hot spring. Stopping behind a tree, he called out her name.

"Hey Kagome!"

"SIT!"

**wham** -

"I'm not spying! I came to give you your stuff!" Inuyasha shouted, glaring at the kitsune stifling giggles by his side. "Cover yourself up!"

"What?" Kagome's voice was shrill but she didn't sit him again, coming up to the edge of the pool instead, arms crossed over her upper body to cover herself. "What are you doing Inuyasha?"

"Keh, turn around wench," Inuyasha came over, dropped the bag and squatted down, shuffling through it.

"Why?"

"Just do it!"

"Fine!"

Turning her back, Kagome was grumbling about bossy men and threats to their limbs if they tried anything. To her surprise, his hands came down onto her scalp, smelling of her shampoo. Picking up her hair, he gently spread the slimy stuff through all her tresses and began scrubbing the annoying mud from them.

When his clawed fingertips grazed along her scalp, she shuddered and lay back against the rocks, relaxing completely beneath his minstrations.

"Ahh... that's nice..."

Entranced by her sigh and the feel of her silky strands, Inuyasha forgot about the kitsune watching from the trees. Hands still preserving her modesty, Kagome lay with her eyes closed, savoring the touch in her hair when she felt it. Opening her lips in a silent 'o', she lay there passively while his lips smoothed over her exposed neck.

Giving it a light nip, he ignored her gasp, holding her back when she tried to lift up, his mouth moving back to her ear. Kissing its rim, he whispered quietly, "Thank you."

Kagome blinked, "For what?"

"For coming back," his teeth slid along her neck, stopped beneath her ear where his breath touched and sent a shiver down her spine.

"To the quest?"

"To me," he corrected, "You came back to me."

"Even though_ you_ always leave _me_?" Kagome snapped, reminding him he wasn't completely forgiven yet.

Releasing her hair, he slipped off his muddy clothes and slid into the water by her side. When she gave a startled cry, he caught her arms and brought her forward, closer but not too close.

His eyes bore into hers when he spoke, "I can't erase the things I've done Kagome, and I won't ask you to forget. What I can ask is for the chance to prove myself from now on."

"Inuyasha..." Kagome whispered, unsettled by their nakedness and his serious expression.

"I'm not letting go until you agree Kagome," Inuyasha warned, "It was hell enough leaving you at Kouga's to think things over, I won't risk losing you again."

When tears formed in her eyes, he saw her fight down a smile and grinned, "So? What do you say? Will you let me prove myself? Let me prove that I really love you?"

"You love me?"

He suddenly growled, hauling her up against him, "I told you that in the cave."

"It was a little too much back then," she admitted, "I told you so."

Forgetting her soapy hair, their nudity, and even their location, he bent his head to give her a teasing kiss on the lips. "I love you."

Kagome smiled, her arms coming up to his shoulders, "What was that?"

"You heard me wench, I love you," Inuyasha nipped her bottom lip, caging her body between himself and the rocks.

Seeming to remember where they were and their circumstances, Kagome would have protested had his mouth not covered hers fully again. At first his kiss was as soft as his touch on her hair, but then his lips took possession of hers with such slow, delicious skill, a flutter of delight ran through her and she slipped her arms around his neck.

Ending the kiss at last, he suckled on her lower lip a moment before nudging her nose with his and pulling back. Smiling, he quietly ordered her to hold her breath while he pulled her under and quickly rinsed the shampoo from her hair. Coming back up when he was done, he surprised her by grabbing the conditioner and slipping it on, leaving it while he scrubbed away the dirt and grime with her lavender soap and her loofa.

"Should you be doing this?" Kagome asked, while he rubbed it over her ribs, blushing as his hand brushed her chest.

"Yes," Inuyasha nodded, finishing off quickly enough. After she was completely done, he scrubbed himself without the smelly soap and climbed out, quickly donning his clothes. Wrapping her in a towel, he held her close and gave her another kiss.

"I like you like this," Kagome whispered, snuggling close into his hold.

"I like you like this too," Inuyasha grinned.

"Wet?"

"I was going to say naked, but I like you wet too."

"Pervert!" Kagome pouted, slapping his chest playfully. "I have no idea what's come over you, since when are you so gallant?"

"Since I almost lost you once," he admitted.

Giving a sigh, Kagome smiled when he wrapped his clean hoari around her, lifted her bridal style, and carried her up to the goshinboku.

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"Will you look at that?"

Sango whispered, crouching beside Miroku behind a bunch of shrubs. They had let their friends be and waited up almost all night for them to come back to the hut, but when the first rays of light had shone with no signs of them, they set out to look.

They'd picked up Kagome's things at the hot spring, surprised to find all her clothes there. Miroku gave a lecherous grin, which earned him another concussion and set them back a little, but eventually he'd woken up and they'd continued their search. They could not have expected anything like this however.

Staring out over the forest, with peaceful smile on his face, Inuyasha sat on a high branch of the goshinboku, a sleeping Kagome in his lap. The pair looked completely content, his haori draped over them both, her bare foot showing.

"Well now that _they're_ finally together," Shippo turned to the couple beside him, "When will you two hook up?"

"Shippo!"

"Not so loud!" Miroku covered her mouth, giving a wicked grin when her eyes met his, "So lady Sango, when _WILL_ you agree to bear my child?"

**- SLAP -**

The sound and ensuing screams brought a grin to Inuyasha's lips as he glanced down to see the monk running from the fuming taijiya. The kitsune and cat followed the entertainment, leaving them alone once again. Feeling Kagome stir a little, he gently rubbed her back beneath the haori, smiling wider when she mumbled his name in her sleep.

"Hai Kagome... I'm right here..."

She mumbled a little more and snuggled closer.

"No... I won't let go..."

"I promise..."

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Fin -

I know, many are going to hate me for ending it so soon, but I think ten chapters is good, more might ruin the story. Thank you SO much to all of you for the wonderful reviews! I have to tell you how shocked I was by the response this story received. I would never have guessed it would become such a hit!

To be honest I nearly gave up on it for a while there, I just couldn't get things right or even get them going. But alas, I did not and there you have it.

The end.

Much love guys - KawaiiChica


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